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hagfromhell Posts: 2146
Sorry probably wrong place to post this. H2b is not my dds bio.father. We have been together since dd was 4months old. Her biological dad does not want to be involved in any way in her life. We are getting married in May and h2b would like to adopt her and I would like us to start our lives together all in the same boat (I don't want her to have different surname to us or any kids we might have). Does anyone have any experience in how we would go about doing this, or gone through anything similar?
mini mama Posts: 834
Hey designer wine....my best friend had this situation,her husband adopted her son an they all have same surname etc...i will ask her advice later for you,i know they had to go to dublin acoss from bewleys hotel in ballsbridge for the meeting etc...as far as i know the father has to be out of touch for 5 yrs or something...cud be wrong but will get the criteria from her and come back to you asap...fantastic news for your family...delighted for you O-O
hagfromhell Posts: 2146
[quote="mini mama":kstfl00e]Hey designer wine....my best friend had this situation,her husband adopted her son an they all have same surname etc...i will ask her advice later for you,i know they had to go to dublin acoss from bewleys hotel in ballsbridge for the meeting etc...as far as i know the father has to be out of touch for 5 yrs or something...cud be wrong but will get the criteria from her and come back to you asap..[b:kstfl00e].fantastic news for your family...delighted for you O-O[/b:kstfl00e][/quote:kstfl00e] Aw thanks that is a lovely thing to say! Thanks for replying and I look forward to hearing what I need to do!
mini mama Posts: 834
Hi there just off phone with my friend,she said it is a long process but you start by meeting with adoption board.They will assess childs relationship with your partner and look at the financial aspect of him adopting her.In my friends case the bio father never had anything to do with her son...he does have to sign his rights away to your daughter...my friends ex held out signing the papers jus to be a bollox so she literally rang him and said sign them or i wil sue for back child support and he wasnt long signing papers then(her son was 5 i think when they got married)...i think the reason my friends case took so long was of bio father holding off on signing...she just texted me to say best of luck to ye and she said the adoption board are so kind and made them feel so special.She said they celebrate every year on the date he was adopted and she said it is so emotional and she said it makes her love hubbie so much for making her son the most important thing in their lives... :lvs
hagfromhell Posts: 2146
[quote="mini mama":3m5n444t]Hi there just off phone with my friend,she said it is a long process but you start by meeting with adoption board.They will assess childs relationship with your partner and look at the financial aspect of him adopting her.In my friends case the bio father never had anything to do with her son...he does have to sign his rights away to your daughter...my friends ex held out signing the papers jus to be a pants so she literally rang him and said sign them or i wil sue for back child support and he wasnt long signing papers then(her son was 5 i think when they got married)...i think the reason my friends case took so long was of bio father holding off on signing...she just texted me to say best of luck to ye and she said the adoption board are so kind and made them feel so special.She said they celebrate every year on the date he was adopted and she said it is so emotional and she said it makes her love hubbie so much for making her son the most important thing in their lives... :lvs[/quote:3m5n444t] Oh God I think my PMT must be at me today I had tears in my eyes reading that. You are very good for doing that for me, I have just looked up the Irish Adoption Board and see that I need his consent. I hope that it won't be a problem as I have similar circumstances and I guess as you say if I mention the 6 and a half years back money he owes me he won't be long copping on...
gottabfp Posts: 5641
my sister is going through the same thing at the moment. she had to have the usual meeting, make sure the environmrnt was suitable for the child. she had to tell the sperm doner but didnt have to get anything signed ( which i taught was strange. she then had to telll her dd that her daddy ( not bio) was not around when she was small but came into her life when she was a tiny baby. the adoption lady just recommended that everything was honest and out in the open.
Lizzy1 Posts: 4128
[quote="designerwine":fcvlcmbp]Sorry probably wrong place to post this. H2b is not my dds bio.father. We have been together since dd was 4months old. Her biological dad does not want to be involved in any way in her life. We are getting married in May and h2b would like to adopt her and I would like us to start our lives together all in the same boat (I don't want her to have different surname to us or any kids we might have). Does anyone have any experience in how we would go about doing this, or gone through anything similar?[/quote:fcvlcmbp] Don't have any advice but would just like to say that i hope everything goes well for you and your family :wv :wv
Mrs.slightly bonkers Posts: 3289
Im in same situ,My ds is 13 now.His dad went years ago. I have firstly asked him if he wants to keep the surname he has and he does,He has my maiden name. But said he would not mind at all sticking in my married name if id like it, But in regards to adoption. What i would have done is said nothing,Just that he is her dad and things were not working out at the time and its all sorted now and you would like her to have his surname.And never mention the bio dad.
tj2008 Posts: 77
Slightly Bonkers, I was adopted by my dad when my mam and him got married as my bio dad was not around. I was kept in the dark about the situation until I was 12/13 and then it was more or less brushed under the carpet. I do not think it is the best idea to keep the child in the dark as others will know and it will make it harder for the child when he/she does find out. This is speaking from experience as I know cousins and others knew that I was adopted by my dad before me. To this dad my parents still do not talk openly about it to the point where they have insisted my brothers do not find out. But that is another story. To the original poster, I hope all goes well with the adoption board for you and your family. I know in my mams case, she met my day when I was 1 and got married when I was 3. They had started the adoption process before getting married but due to certain conditions, all of which I am not aware of, the adoption did not go through until I was 5. Best of luck.......and hope all goes well.
tj2008 Posts: 77
edited as double post