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laineyk Posts: 43
Hi, I am not sure if I am making a bigger deal out of this than it actually is. Just need some advice. We are getting married in May 09. OH lost his job in october. He has always had a interest in photography. So we thought it would be a good time for him to see if he can make a profession out of it. I know it's hard to get a new business going espically in these times. He spends every minute of the day working. We commute to work so he spends 9-4 working then again from 7-9 working again. By then it's time to go to bed as we have to get up at 5.30 am for work. Then all sat & sun if he could. We have fought so much about this in the past while. I really want this to work for him and asked him not to do it on a tues evening and sunday. So far he hasn't stuck to that much. I'm sick of O:| and having the same fights over and over again. I'm trying my best to be supportive but i need him to do his part. My wedding is in 2 months and i get depressed thinking about it :o(
Crostini Posts: 1105
it's a hard situation to be in. My Oh is self employeed but we agreed he'd only work from 9am to 5pm mon to friday. now there are times when he has to work on a weekend or into te evening but it's an exception really. but not everyone has that ability. best thing to do is explain to him that you are trying to support him all the way but you want to have a relationship at the end of it. no point in having a great business and no wife!
wishin&hoping Posts: 3666
I know where you are coming from. My H2B is a workholic. He has just expanded his own business. I insist on every sunday off. His Mum also told me that if she had her time again she would have done this with his dad. On a friday evening I plan out what we are doing on the Sunday. I now work with H2B but its not the same as getting quality time together.
laineyk Posts: 43
Thanks first for us & Shellywhittle2003. It's good to know i'm not the only one that has being in this situation. I think i've got to the stage that i'll tell him again about working certain hours. But if he doesn't this time i'm gone.I have told him so many times i am going to be supportive but he needs to do his part. It's only 1 day and 1 evening. I thought that was reasonable? I thought if he really loved me he'd make the effort.
wishin&hoping Posts: 3666
You know that at the back of it all he does really love you. Men are funny old fishes. Maybe if he finds that the few hours off is causing a back log, this is only a suggestion maybe you could give him a hand a 4 a couple of hours. You could spend a bit of time together (not the same as I have said) & also you will get a bit of an insight into it all
laineyk Posts: 43
There's not much i can do to help him. Unless he teaches me stuff from scratch. Don't think he'd have the time for that. He has a business partner that could really be doing half of it but i think he doesn't really trust him doing much editing pics etc. This doesn't help either.
Crostini Posts: 1105
if he doesn't trust the other photographer to edit picks why are they in business together?? has he been swamped with weddings or is it just that he's taking a good while doing the photos for each one? it may improve once he gets more experienced?
wishin&hoping Posts: 3666
No it defo doesn't help that he doesn't trust the business partner. If it is going to work he really is going to have to start trusting them. Otherwise eventually he will resent the fact that he is carrying most of the work load
laineyk Posts: 43
No this partner just hasn't got a clue about computer/camera's so OH would prefer just do it himself. In the past few months he is just learning the basics. Bus Partner has loads of great contacts. No he's not doing wedding all portfolio,family & agency shoots. Just getting used to editing and finding new things to do to make the pics look better.
Crostini Posts: 1105
well i thnk once he gets up to speed, he should be a lot quicker at doing any of his work. perhaps you could treat him and buy him a gift voucher for a photoshop class? it might help him and help you at the same *) time!