Am I fooling myself

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playbunny Posts: 50
hi girls & boys(if any of ye use this) I have a real big problem, I'm engaged for the last few four months to my boyfriend of five years after he had asked me on several occasions I said yes because he told me it was either now or never and I didn't want to loose him. I really like him alot & we get on great, but I've never really felt much attraction to him, I met him at a really hard time of my life, my close friend had passed away. to cut the story short my ex has been in my life the whole time at the start I cut him out of my life as he had hurt me, we never had a really solid realtionship,He hasn't gone out with anyone for the last two years apart from the odd one night stand, previous to this he went out with a girl for a year, not sure why the relationship finished.. now he wants me to get back with him or at least give him a chance this had been going on with the last two years and he still hasn't given up, I have often told him that I feel this is all wrong as I text him behind my H2b's back.. and I have met him on occasions maybe once every three months.. I have been with him before I got engaged.. he has told me he love's me. My H2b has asked me on loads of occasions whether he is still in contact & last week I told him that yes I had spoken to him and that basically I do still have a lot of feelings for him but that I have made my decision.. but now I don't know what to do!!! I feel like the most selfish B*tch in the world at the moment.. I don't want to hurt my h2b, but I can't seem to give up my ex at the same time..
mrs blueeyes Posts: 992
Perhaps you need to give yourself time away from both these guys to suss things out. I also know from experience that far away hills are always greener. You could possibly be using your lack of interest in your current relationship as an excuse to think about your ex IYKWIM. Why did your H2B have to ask you several times?? He was probably right to put it to you as he did. That would have been a good opportunity to take a break before agreeing to marry him IMO.