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Finicky Fi Posts: 2134
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NittyGritty Posts: 1605
It's a tough one. On one hand you'll hear the inevitable "An ex is an ex for a reason....". On the other hand, people can and do change so maybe the thing that pulled you apart the last time may not arise again. If the factor that caused the breakup last time was in fact [i:svdyaoel]you[/i:svdyaoel], i.e. your decision, you are the best placed person to answer the question, "have you changed?". From my own experience, I did get back with an ex before. A very messy breakup where my heart was broken. He came back, looking for another chance. Love is blind (and deaf and dumb in my case) and because I wanted him, I believed things would be different. They weren't unfortunately and he broke my heart again. And believe me, bouncing back the second time was much worse than the first breakup. At the end of the day, only you know what went on between you, why you broke up and why you think it may or may not work this time. It was really lovely that he sent you the flowers today and that he remembered your fave blooms. But you said it would be "selfish" of you to get back with him. Why is this? Is it that deep down you know it cannot work and you will be, in effect leading him up for a fall? You have a lot of soul searching ahead my dear. Whatever way you decide, best of luck with it :wv
MrsKMctobe Posts: 40
I got back with my ex and we're getting married. We couldn't be happier!
FeelingAnxious Posts: 12
hi hun, i got back with an ex years ago, and he dumped me 2 years later to go traveling. it broke my heart, i ended up going to australia a year later with a bunch of my friends and bumped into him on a night out, we ended up together that night and a few weeks later he told me he wanted us to go home to ireland together and set up shop basically, but as much as that was my dream and all the soul searching i did, i didnt do it, we are both back in ireland now and to this day he says it was the biggest mistake of his life letting me go but thats not my problem. i couldnt let him in a 3rd time!! anyway getting back to you, your ex has pulled on your heart strings, i think you should meet up with him and see what he has to say for himself and have an open discussion about the future. if he dosent offer you what you want or drags up things from the past well then he hasnt let go of the issues ye had and then you'll no your answer.......best of luck....x
Finicky Fi Posts: 2134
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shootingstar Posts: 1340
When I was 20 I started to go out with my now H2B!! After a year and a half he left to go travelling, he wanted me to go with him, but I didnt want to go, and I couldnt stop him from going as it was his life long dream to travel. As much as it killed me I watched him leave for Oz. We said we would stay together and not see other people, but that soon faded as we both were in our early 20's! So after about 3 months we split up, he went on to do whatever he wanted to do and I did the same.. We spoke every 2nd day either texting or phone calls, we always said we loved one another, but when he was coming home we both said we wouldnt get back together as we were better off as friends. He did come home after 14 months, and we both tried to avoid one another but it didnt work, it was like a magnetic connection, when we went out with friends, we would end up bumping into one another.. I knew the minute I seen him I would fall in love with him all over again... fast forward 6 years and we are engaged, have a house and have a beautiful daughter.. For me I didnt follow my head I followed my heart and I dont regret a single thing.. I knew before I first kissed him way back in 2003 that he was going to be the man i would marry (never told him that!!). The reasons for us breaking up and you breaking up are totally different. We have had our ups and downs, good days and bad days, but thats all part of the learning and growing of a relationship..
chiara k Posts: 97
Hi Mafiros81, couldn't help not responding to your post. [quote:1pjl97lb]I'm the one with the issues now. And I'm the one who'll have to compromise if we do get back together.[/quote:1pjl97lb] when you say this I can't but help think while your compromising being with your ex what if Mr. Right comes along? do you see yourself happy to compromise for the rest of your life if you choose to be with your ex? it's a difficult choice and I wish you luck with whatever decision you make :action32
Excitedwife Posts: 1186
I married mine! Best decision of me life :lvs :lvs :lvs :lvs
islandlil Posts: 1059
[quote="shootingstar":1sa4g6nu]When I was 20 I started to go out with my now H2B!! After a year and a half he left to go travelling, he wanted me to go with him, but I didnt want to go, and I couldnt stop him from going as it was his life long dream to travel. As much as it killed me I watched him leave for Oz. We said we would stay together and not see other people, but that soon faded as we both were in our early 20's! So after about 3 months we split up, he went on to do whatever he wanted to do and I did the same.. We spoke every 2nd day either texting or phone calls, we always said we loved one another, but when he was coming home we both said we wouldnt get back together as we were better off as friends. He did come home after 14 months, and we both tried to avoid one another but it didnt work, it was like a magnetic connection, when we went out with friends, we would end up bumping into one another.. I knew the minute I seen him I would fall in love with him all over again... fast forward 6 years and we are engaged, have a house and have a beautiful daughter.. For me I didnt follow my head I followed my heart and I dont regret a single thing.. I knew before I first kissed him way back in 2003 that he was going to be the man i would marry (never told him that!!). The reasons for us breaking up and you breaking up are totally different. We have had our ups and downs, good days and bad days, but thats all part of the learning and growing of a relationship..[/quote:1sa4g6nu] what a lovely story. :lvs just had to reply! OP-best of luck-I once kept going back to an ex who was a lovely guy but we just weren't meant for each other-eventually we broke free of each other and yes it was painful but we both met the right people and are not happily married to people who really suit us. So think carefully, it is very easy to go back to the familiar but sometimes love isn't enough and sometimes you meet someone that you click with on every level and it's meant to be. O:o)
bridalnowmam Posts: 2202
[quote="shootingstar":3qubshnn]When I was 20 I started to go out with my now H2B!! After a year and a half he left to go travelling, he wanted me to go with him, but I didnt want to go, and I couldnt stop him from going as it was his life long dream to travel. As much as it killed me I watched him leave for Oz. We said we would stay together and not see other people, but that soon faded as we both were in our early 20's! So after about 3 months we split up, he went on to do whatever he wanted to do and I did the same.. We spoke every 2nd day either texting or phone calls, we always said we loved one another, but when he was coming home we both said we wouldnt get back together as we were better off as friends. He did come home after 14 months, and we both tried to avoid one another but it didnt work, it was like a magnetic connection, when we went out with friends, we would end up bumping into one another.. I knew the minute I seen him I would fall in love with him all over again... fast forward 6 years and we are engaged, have a house and have a beautiful daughter.. For me I didnt follow my head I followed my heart and I dont regret a single thing.. I knew before I first kissed him way back in 2003 that he was going to be the man i would marry (never told him that!!). The reasons for us breaking up and you breaking up are totally different. We have had our ups and downs, good days and bad days, but thats all part of the learning and growing of a relationship..[/quote:3qubshnn] Ah thats such a nice story, sometimes i feel that if you dont try something you are even tempted to try that you will always regret it. honestly if i were in your situation as stupid as it may sound i prob would go back, ust to see what would happen. either way make sure you do what is right for you and your life right now. Good luck