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I am so stressed & unhappy

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sostressedout Posts: 3
Hi I just wanted someone to vent to really. I like most of the country am out of work now for the past few months, and I am finding the wedding planning really stressful because of the no money situation. Also everything I try to do is being met with "You can't do this, you can't do that, You have to do this, you have to do that, bla bla bla." I am not losing weight at the pace I want to, I don't know if I will like my dress anymore by the time I get it. I am so unexcited, and I don't even feel happy or in love anymore. I just want to run away and get really wasted drunk and forget about the whole f**king thing. I am really upset and feel like nothing will be ok ever again. There is no sunshine in my life. What can I do to make things ok? I am trying to do everything right by everyone, I am making it my business to keep my parents happy and my BM's but they are just making life so much more difficult. I want to marry my fiance I really do, but I would love to go away and come back when it is time to go up the aisle and just leave it all to everyone else. I am so strung out and depressed. Anyone else having these feelings and know what to do to sort them out? Sorry for the long post, I just feel so miserable.
Aussiewife Posts: 16
I think the most important thing is that you want to marry your fiance. And you said that you did. Getting married is the thing you should concentrate on rather than the wedding. I know that's easy to say but try to think less about the little things and just look forward to marrying the man you love. I think every bride has concerns that she won't like her dress by the time she picks it up. However you chose that dress because you liked it best. When you see it again you will love it. Particulary with hair, make up done etc. Money problems must be tough whilst trying to plan a wedding, but can you try to scrap things that aren't completely necessary- can a freind drive you to the church, can you cut numbers, no favours etc. Best of luck.
Mrs2babridesoon Posts: 3319
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gerbil Posts: 3528
Can you take a break from the planning? expecially, take a break with you H2B. I don;t mean go away or anything, but spend your evenings together, watch good movies, have a laugh, go for walk and then sit down and look at the whole wedding again after a week. You don;t have to be stressed; that's the bottom line. Obviously it's stressful to plan anything when money is tight but if you and H2B can reach an agreement on what is important, and what you'd like if you can afford and then things you really can do without you'd be amazed what savings you can make. as for your parents and BMs - sit them down and tell them straight out that they are making you stressed. If there are genuine problems or concerns try to tackle them and get them resolved. If it's just your average wedding feckwittery tell them - don;t ask - what's happening, what you've decided on and if they have comments smile, listen, say "that's interesting" and ignore them. But you deserve to have not only a lovely wedding day but a happy time planning it. Things are tough enough with money etc, don;t let people add to it. You won't please everyone but anyone who loves you will be pleased for you.
October_2007 Posts: 937
Hi Sostressedout, First of all stop trying to please everyone else and start pleasing yourself, everyone will have an opinion on your wedding and what you should or shouldnt have, IGNORE THEN. If they are not stumping up the cash then they do not have an opinion. Have you thought about postponig the wedding until you are in a better position financially or have you thought about going abroad, much less stressful, no one telling you you have to invite xyz cos you can spin then the 'we only want a small intimate family wedding' line.
sunny505 Posts: 1807
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minestrone Posts: 45
Hey Sunny505 - I'm going to Pm you now.....sorry for hijacking thread. I think other poster should try and relax and put things into perspective.....the most important thing about your wedding day is that the two of you want to get married and that declaration of love and commitment will be shared and witnessed by those closest to you. The rest are trimmings ...colour of this and that, to have favours or not, or who Aunty X should be sitting beside. I'm not being smart - this is simply the truth. Have a glass of wine later and appreciate all the positives. Hth x
Trixy3 Posts: 2041
Hey there so stressed out... I have a bit to go yet before my big day so I just have the basics done at the moment so I haven't experienced the way you are feeling All I can suggest is that you take a step back for a couple of days and maybe head away with your h2b for a couple of days just the 2 of ye.... Best of luck with everything :action32
sostressedout Posts: 3
Thanks for all your replies, I will try not to let things get to me so much. Also, I want to say Sunny I am so sorry about your parents, I hope you are ok and getting through the pain of such a devastating loss. I will see how I feel but to be really honest I have felt a bit depressed for a while now, so maybe I will go and get help or talk to someone about it. That could help. Thanks a million for your replies
sostressedout Posts: 3
I have just read through about 5 pages of Let off Steam and realised I am very far from on my own with the stress involved in planning a wedding, and the anger, disappointment and depression that it can lead to. So that has considerably helped :wv