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Anon 55 Posts: 7
Thanks again. I looked up the accord link and there is one close by, I will discuss it with hubby and i do think he would go to it as he is open minded bout these types of things. Will let ye know how things turn out.
Wispa Posts: 397
he is trying to scare you by talking about finishing the marriage. Go to counselling, no matter how far away it is. it seems like your husband has self-esteem issues....what are his family like? did he grow up in a disruptive household? I can't believe that someone would want to walk out on their marriage because their partner wants to chat to members of the opposite sex.
frillynickers Posts: 1765
[quote="Anon 55":1ih1znlk]Thanks again. I looked up the accord link and there is one close by, I will discuss it with hubby and i do think he would go to it as he is open minded bout these types of things. Will let ye know how things turn out.[/quote:1ih1znlk] yes please do anon let us know how you get on. I am going to say something though and I dont mean to upset you but I know this from personal expiernce. when you love someone you can sometimes see their faults but be blind to them to the point that you deniy they even exist, I dont know if the other posters agree but your H2B is cleary NOT an open minded person whn it comes to you and your relationship otherwise you wouldnt have this problm. I really do hope this works out for you but you need to realise that its your hubbie who needs to change and not you, do NOT let him change you, restrict or control you pet otherwise you will turn into any very unhappy women and over time your confidence will be completly worn away.
MrsTiredbride Posts: 3397
[quote="Anon 55":2h4kqo0e]Thanks again. I looked up the accord link and there is one close by, I will discuss it with hubby and i do think he would go to it as he is open minded bout these types of things. Will let ye know how things turn out.[/quote:2h4kqo0e] Be sure that you do. Remember that although things may seem very bad at the moment, trust me life continues in earnest whether we like it or not. I'll have my fingers crossed for you and I will be thinking of you.
mrs bmw Posts: 6447
[quote="frillynickers":d4j3c2d3]Hi Anon, Have to say I think the fact that he suggested ending the marriage proves he is trying to control you, this is a tactic of scaring you into falling into line with his way of thinking which is most definetly a form of control. [/quote:d4j3c2d3] Could not have said it better myself
FoxyLockz Posts: 2448
[quote="Anon 55":26ul40gh]Well we have just discussed things and my husband wants to finish things, he thinks that if i cannot see what i have done wrong then there is no point to carrying on. I did concede that i understand were he is coming frm and that I am sorry for upsetting him but that it was innocent. [b:26ul40gh][color=blue:26ul40gh]He says that he does trust me and let me do what i want, which is true in that i can go out whenever i wish with my friends.[/color:26ul40gh] [color=blue:26ul40gh]I am v unsure as to what to do next as I feel that the only way to rescue the situation is to say i am wrong.[/color:26ul40gh] [/quote:26ul40gh][/b:26ul40gh] I'm sorry but I don't agree....He is manipulating you into thinking you were a "bold girl" and you must now be punished by him ending the marraige.....completley uncalled for. What's gonna happen the next time you go out without him? You'll be totally afraid to look in the direction of another man let alone in the company of one. Marraige should not be like this at all....why should you be afraid to have male firends......To me he's insecure and the only way forward is councelling and if you think he's up for it then urge him to go It mental abuse and from here it could only get worse fot you I really hope you work this out
lastminutebride Posts: 785
Hang on. Your husband is threatening to END YOUR MARRIAGE - not a short-term relationship, not even an engagement, an actual MARRIAGE, the one that's supposed to be till death do you part - because you had a few friends over and now you won't go down on your knees and say you were a very bold girl and beg him to forgive you? Does he also threaten to end the marriage if you drink the last of the orange juice or spend too long in the shower? I would consider ending my marriage if my husband beat me up. I would consider ending my marriage if he cheated on me. Because he had a bunch of mixed-sex mates over?! Not a chance in HELL. Please tell us you know how totally insane this is.
Trixy3 Posts: 2041
Anon...I feel sorry for you, you sound like you have a great personality and that you are up for a bit of craic...aren't we all, but your husband is holding you back.... You can let your hair down when you go out with your sis...probably knowing in the back of your mind that there will be no trouble that night Every woman loves a bit of male attention but that doesnt mean we are going to head off with the first one that comes over talking to them Talk to him tonight and explain how you feel.... Best of luck anon :thnk :thnk :thnk
Natanne Posts: 238
Hi there anon 55 The main thing here is dont think that you are doing anything wrong, going in and having a few drinks with a few friends is totally normal, I come from a country area too and we do that all the time at home.. I think its really important for you to stay strong in yourself and remember that you are not doing anything wrong. I think you should sit down with him and have a really good chat, and try and clear the air on this- clearly your husband is very insecure and has a problem with trust but that is his problem- and he needs to work on it with your help We are all behind you! Sit down with him, or even grab a weekend away, talking is the most important thing- maybe your husband was brought up in a very old fashioned way- defending your honour sort of stuff.. Nip it in the bud now- dont let anyone no matter how much you love them try to control you- you are your own person- and you do know your own mind or else you would not have written this post- I really hope you sort it all out best of luck!!
Anon 55 Posts: 7
Edited to get rid of drunken rant