Sorry to bump this up by posting again but:
just noticed almost everyone said Go Go Go , but there has been another thread since about a bad arguement a year and a half ago where he hit her to snap her out of some pretty destructive behaviour, also a once off, out of character occurence according to that poster, and nearly everyone on [i:2px76fbq]that[/i:2px76fbq] thread said they totally understood why he hit her, not to worry about it etc etc. Mmmmm, Interesting....................
A different set of people replied on each thread.
He'd be given the road.
and she always forgave him and they had a baby after that but things got worse and worse,she put up with it for 3 years but he is gone now, never know what goes on behind closed doors, so i say if they do it once they will do it again, so GO.
A family member recently split from her husband as he was violent towards her, it was jealousy, she couldnt talk to any other man or he would beat her up, we were all in shock at this we always thought he was a lovely man, apparently it start happening on their honeymoon.
[quote="Sandie":mjor6dud]What would you do if your H2B/Hubby/Partner hit you? And it was completely out of character and a once off? Would you stay or go?[/quote:mjor6dud]
Go! Most battered wives didn't know what was coming.. A single out-of-character action may be a glimpse of what the future is to become.. That certainly looks to me like a bleak future..
Go on girl..
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[quote="halloweenbride":24q99ty5]Sorry to bump this up by posting again but:
just noticed almost everyone said Go Go Go , but there has been another thread since about a bad arguement a year and a half ago where he hit her to snap her out of some pretty destructive behaviour, also a once off, out of character occurence according to that poster, and nearly everyone on [i:24q99ty5]that[/i:24q99ty5] thread said they totally understood why he hit her, not to worry about it etc etc. Mmmmm, Interesting....................[/quote:24q99ty5]
I read the other post bad argument a year and a half ago, and it seems a bit different to this story i think. that is more of a domestic row between to people where it sounds like the girl was the one who went a bit nuts! just they way i took it up anyways
know people whos bf or h2b who have hit them once and that was that! and im sure he would have good reason to do it if he did!
would give it another chance nearly nine years so if he was going to do it he prob would have done it by now![/quote:2in1kz8t]
Right - so beat the fuck out of him back as retaliation, tell yourself you probably deserved it, and convince yourself it wont happen again?
Thats your advice?
Im guessing you aren't a respresentative from Aoibhneas then.
You really do need to go. Even if everything seems nice and normal and he is back to being the man you love, and it just seems much easier to forget about it. A huge line has been crossed-he has made it clear that he is the type of man who beats his wife. Go before you have children and are financially dependent on him.
12 for luck
I really feel for you but I think you ( and a few brothers or friends for support if you need it) should show him the door and give him the bin bags with his stuff , after you have changed the lock. Then tell him if he comes near you , you are going to the guards.
I know it sounds extreme but if a man has it in him to do it once he will do it again.... there is NEVER an excuse for violence so unfortunately it is not out of character, it is in the character somewhere... How could you ever trust him again. I know I could not.
I remember going out with a guy once who was in the army and twice as wide as me and a full 6 inches taller than me... he could have made me unconcscious with one flick of his finger and I can try people's patience at times with my stubborness... he would never have touched me . It was simply not in his nature to be violent even though physically it would have been very easy for him..
I know it must be so tough for you but could you imagine if you got married and had children, would he turn on them too? The only way I would even consider giving him another chance would be to break up spend time apart and I mean really apart no contact etc and revisit the situation in about a year. If he is truly sorry and it really is out of character he will go and work on the issues that made him react that way and hurt you and be so wracked with guilt that he could not live with himself otherwise.
I hope it works out for you.... it will get worse before it gets better for you but you deserve more...
I got with this guy when i was 16....got pregnant at 17.....hit me while i was pregnant....first one was a hard slap on the leg said he was sorry and a few tears...i beleived him of course.........nothing else for about a year then things started going seropusly down hill. He worked nights while i stayed home with the baby then i started to grow up a bit wanting to go back to college.work...he didn't like it one bit. Always jealous that i was making a life for myself outside his territory...then the absue started again...maybe 2 or 3 times a week...bruises always hidden so my family couldn't see...emotionally drained also. Started to stand up for myself of course just couldn' take it anymore. Last straw was a black eye and a busted lip, got the guards and kicked him out.
4 weeks later i met my now H2B and i tells ye best thing i ever did was get out of the abusive relationship.
[u:93tsmzi6][b:93tsmzi6]No woman deserves to be hit no matter what the argument or circumstances.[/b:93tsmzi6][/u:93tsmzi6]