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lets go fly a kite Posts: 2388
[quote="SORR":uvd3yvz7]We were told in our pre-marriage course that the ONLY time you should WALK away from a relationship is when there is VIOLENCE from a partner. [b:uvd3yvz7]THEY DONT CHANGE... [/b:uvd3yvz7] They might refrain for a period of time to gain back your trust, but it WILL happen again... (could be a week, a month or a year) Sometimes it starts off as something simple like a slap across the face but each time it happens it gets progressively worse My advise is [b:uvd3yvz7]GET OUT[/b:uvd3yvz7] of the relationship now... if you don't and he hits you again you will find it harder to leave it..[/quote:uvd3yvz7] Life isn't as black and white as scenarios laid out in counselling courses, or TV, or women's magazines....
brookee Posts: 751
wwwwwww
rigo Posts: 421
I always say "if you hit me you better make sure I cant move" Or " If you hit me you better run very fast away" Once is far too manu times. Id say go
blinginhappy Posts: 1356
I have a relative who, when he has drink/drugs taken has on more than one occassion beaten the living daylights out of his wife. The Gards have been called so often and she's thrown him out and taken him back. Once she tried to get a barring order but backed out at the last second. I can't understand for the life of me why she's still with him, like alot of the other posters have said I think the trust would be broken and you'd never be able to see them in the same light again. Its very easy for me to say that if it happened to me at this moment in time I would leave, but you actually experience it I don't think you can say for definate what you'd do.
Mrstobe10 Posts: 1793
I have no idea, I would love to say that he would go but until it actually happened - who knows..
lets go fly a kite Posts: 2388
These examples are all extreme cases that nobody should be expected to tolerate. But there are degrees of 'violence' and very occasionally mitigating circumstances so my reaction would depend on that.
mrs blueeyes Posts: 992
[quote="lets go fly a kite":3atpsnzd][quote="SORR":3atpsnzd]We were told in our pre-marriage course that the ONLY time you should WALK away from a relationship is when there is VIOLENCE from a partner. [b:3atpsnzd]THEY DONT CHANGE... [/b:3atpsnzd] They might refrain for a period of time to gain back your trust, but it WILL happen again... (could be a week, a month or a year) Sometimes it starts off as something simple like a slap across the face but each time it happens it gets progressively worse My advise is [b:3atpsnzd]GET OUT[/b:3atpsnzd] of the relationship now... if you don't and he hits you again you will find it harder to leave it..[/quote:3atpsnzd] Life isn't as black and white as scenarios laid out in counselling courses, or TV, or women's magazines....[/quote:3atpsnzd] Don't mean to be funny but my mother went through violence. This is how it started - a slap across the face in their first week of marriage!!! It took a year and a half before he was violent again and it was always an apology and begging for forgiveness. (and there were periods of up to two years of non-violence.) It got worse and worse as the years went on). She found it hard to leave him over the years. My Dad then hit me for the 1st time ever when I was 16. I went to the guards... and I don't speak to him now... neither does my mother. We have a barring order and it was the best thing we ever done to WALK away.. But we didn't WALK away from our home- he had to leave... As I said, we were told in our pre-marriage course that the ONLY time you should WALK away from a relationship is when there is VIOLENCE from a partner. [b:3atpsnzd]THEY DONT CHANGE... [/b:3atpsnzd] They have cases the whole time of couples coming for help and they see what's happening.
lets go fly a kite Posts: 2388
[quote="SORR":2l1wfonz][quote="lets go fly a kite":2l1wfonz][quote="SORR":2l1wfonz]We were told in our pre-marriage course that the ONLY time you should WALK away from a relationship is when there is VIOLENCE from a partner. [b:2l1wfonz]THEY DONT CHANGE... [/b:2l1wfonz] They might refrain for a period of time to gain back your trust, but it WILL happen again... (could be a week, a month or a year) Sometimes it starts off as something simple like a slap across the face but each time it happens it gets progressively worse My advise is [b:2l1wfonz]GET OUT[/b:2l1wfonz] of the relationship now... if you don't and he hits you again you will find it harder to leave it..[/quote:2l1wfonz] Life isn't as black and white as scenarios laid out in counselling courses, or TV, or women's magazines....[/quote:2l1wfonz] Don't mean to be funny but my mother went through violence. This is how it started - a slap across the face in their first week of marriage!!! It took a year and a half before he was violent again and it was always an apology and begging for forgiveness. (and there were periods of up to two years of non-violence.) It got worse and worse as the years went on). She found it hard to leave him over the years. My Dad then hit me for the 1st time ever when I was 16. I went to the guards... and I don't speak to him now... neither does my mother. We have a barring order and it was the best thing we ever done to WALK away.. But we didn't WALK away from our home- he had to leave... As I said, we were told in our pre-marriage course that the ONLY time you should WALK away from a relationship is when there is VIOLENCE from a partner. [b:2l1wfonz]THEY DONT CHANGE... [/b:2l1wfonz] They have cases the whole time of couples coming for help and they see what's happening.[/quote:2l1wfonz] I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience but you're making sweeping generalisations and I don't agree that all situations are identical.
Gonetopasturesgreener Posts: 3556
If I hadn't collapsed with shock I would probably hit him back (I know, not the right thing to do - it would be an automatic reaction). I've never been in a physically violent relationship so I can't honestly say what I'd do... I would be in major shock if DH did anything like that. I would wonder if he had lost his mind or something.
rop Posts: 1453
I normally dont like to get involved in these conversations as they always end up with someone feeling like they shouldnt have opened their mouth BUT i would just like to say that your question was [quote:3h3tzw7v]What would you do if your H2B/Hubby/Partner hit you? And it was completely out of character and a once off?[/quote:3h3tzw7v] unfortunately this IS an element of his character that has and will always be there, it has just never come to light before. Situations are never as black and white as we might sometimes like them to be. And as some of us know its an awful lot easier said then done to leave somebody you love. I couldnt even imagine answering such a question without ever having been in that situation, the same way i would not feel comfortable advising anyone on what to do. the only thing that you can hope for in a sitation like that is that either you or who ever it is that is involved has a strong network of friends and family around that are able to listen and not judge in anyway. and even if they or you didnt feel that you could talk to a friend there are people out there who will listen that wont judge. :thnk