Inlaws - Relationships

hopeful1973 Posts: 4385

22nd January 2008 18:42

Ciara, that's dreadful behaviour by your fiance's parents and brother, how immature and petty. I hope there's much more to it than your fiance just not spending enough time at home because I'm amazed that grown adults can act so petulantly over such an issue. OK so he's not great at spending a lot of time at home, but if you're anything like myself and my DH weekends are the time we spend quality time together, they are precious, and we can't be over at our inlaws every weekend! Assuming that they can't be reconciled before the wedding, and if you have to have a top table, maybe put your mom beside your fiance, your dad beside you and fill the rest of it up with your BMs and best man/groomsman? I take it your fiance isn't having his brother as Best Man?!! HTH Hx

nelly Posts: 1875

22nd January 2008 19:26

thats petty but when is your wedding? because if i were you i would ignore their crap and send them the card - guaranteed when they get the invite they will come as the excuse is crap - your MIL would never tell her sisters family etc that is the reason why she stayed away from her son's wedding - its risky but i would call her bluff!

Goosey Posts: 387

23rd January 2008 04:14

Unbelievable...My sister is so lucky to have great In-laws...mine are a divorced nightmare - but that's for another day!!! I really like hopeful1973 idea. If you're anything like me I'd hate not to have my parents on the top table as they are such an important part of the day. Having them either side of you both would be lovely.

FunnyFace Posts: 225

23rd January 2008 12:32

We were at a wedding where the bride is estranged from her family. TBH the only thing you'd notice is how kind and loving her inlaws were to her, and how much her husband loved and valued her. I'm sure your wedding will be like that too. X

kittysue Posts: 1016

24th January 2008 11:02

That kind of behaviour drives me mad.......People are so inconsiderate....they completely forget who the day is about it. DH didn't speak to his father for a year before the wedding.. and we invited him and DH phoned him to see if he was going to the wedding to which he declined. We didn't really care.....coz he is just stubborn out......but people did notice and they're going to notice before the meal. They'll see they're not there in the Church.....but please don't let it ruin your day. They'll feel 100 times worse for not being there.......and it'll always be a reminder when you eventually get your photos. But neither of you should get stressed out about it.... Send them an invitiation and if they don't go...so be it.... Forget about it.....don't keep trying to encourage them to go coz it'll just drag on and on..leading up to your big day.

ester Posts: 11

24th January 2008 12:42

I come from a very large family and never see them so I decided not to invite them. They live all over the country so I would have to listin to moaning about costs for them etc. It's not worth it. As for the IL. My FSIL is a total bi**h and never liked me. Even told DP not to marry me a few weeks ago, told him to cancel the wedding because she has hated me for the last 6 years for "stealing her brother". So I gave her a piece of my mind and put her in her place after years of bitting my tongue for DPs sake. No the PIL don't know if they want to come to the wedding as SIL isn't invited. We sent them a invite but it is up to them now. Think I have gone beond the point of caring about them now. The day is about DP and I getting married not about them. Sorry for ramble but Families?????

crazylady10 Posts: 539

24th January 2008 19:24

one of you said it has to be more then just him not going to see them that often but honestly thats exactly it. Its tough on the h2b thats why im stressing. I dont want him resenting it. Lets hope its a great day and people wont talk too much. :wv

hopeful1973 Posts: 4385

24th January 2008 20:19

Hi again Ciara yeah, I said that. I would just have hoped that his parents wouldn't be so childish as to punish your H2B, their son, in such a horrible way. As one of the other posters said, they will regret not attending but like I said if you think they can't be reconciled before your big day, then you will have to be practical about the seating at the top table and decide what you want to do. Would your H2B be bothered in trying to see his parents a bit more? Do you get on with them? Would you be able to talk to them? Hx

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