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AnonBride2b Posts: 2
Hi All Myself and my fiancee have moved to a new county about 6 months ago. We were living and working in Dublin, and I got on very well with everyone I work with. But we've bought a house now and my fiancee is working in a new job and i'm working from home. I do miss my family quite a bit, even though I go home every month or two to see them. I also miss my friends and work friends quite a bit (now having said that in the last while before we moved, it was more difficult to meet up with them as everyone had their own stuff going on). I really love our new house and the area we live in, and I have to say I really enjoy working from home, but i'm just afraid i'm not going to make any new friends in my new location. Obviously cos i'm working from home, its more difficult to make more contacts. I would try to get out and do more things, but its been so busy recently with the wedding plans, its hard to do everything. I was doing a 10 week music class and a 10 week dance class, but didnt manage to make any friends. When I was younger and in college, I had loads of friends and would be out every weekend with them, I'd always have a good laugh with people and seemed to be more out going than I am now. Is it just a case that as we get older, that we lose touch of this kind of thing anyway??? Would love some feedback on this..... Thanks a million everyone.
artois75 Posts: 80
Hi there Couldnt read and not reply. I really feel for you, its a difficult thing to do upping sticks and leaving everyting that is familiar behind to start again. It does take time and obviously working from home is making you that bit more isolated too. How has your H2B settled in? has he made friends through work? I was going to suggest starting a class or something but you mentioned you had already done this. Perhaps it would be worth trying another class? at least it would get you out of the house and you never know what may come of it. Do ye go out to the local pub or anything? Sorry to be not of much help but hang in there, im sure things will get better in time. take care
kenko Posts: 1430
Hi ya, I understand how you feel i had a big move from cork to waterford going back a few years ago.I taught i never settel down left family and friends in cork and felt totally alone also i had our child and another on the way, I wasnt even driving at the time. I knew no one, himself was out working all day and i stayed at home going nuts, all i wanted to do was run back home.What changed for me was after my second child was born i got out of the house more going walking with the buggy and started to become more aware of my surroundings,then i took up a part time job and started to mix with people didnt make friends at that stage but it was nice just to chat,Moved again to a different part of the town where we bought our house still a bit insecure.Meet a lovely neighbour and she took me under her wing and her friends became my friends and it carried on from there.It did take me a long time though, and i have so many friends in my life every day its hard to keep up. Know when people ask me do i miss cork they get a big no. I love living in Waterford now and wouldnt move back to cork if you pay me,at last im really happy.Give your self time this will work out for you too.hope i was a bit of help to you
Spudnik2b Posts: 1804
I know exactly how you feel, I moved from Dublin to Galway coming on nearly 2 years ago and I know absolutely no one in the area, my daughter was grand, settled & happy because she had school and made lots of friends and is more outgoing now as a result, she loves it, my H2B lives in same estate and he doesn't know anyone either (both bought houses, seemed like a good idea the time!!!), the town I'm living in, people wouldn't go out of their way to befriend you, they see you as an outsider which I find very hard to deal with, thankfully though I work in Galway City and friendly with some of the girls in work but its not the same as they are not really socialites, odd night here and there and because I live so far out of the city, its hard get home at night and for a taxi its €50, I miss all my friends in Dublin and worked in a place 30 times size of this place and had so many friends and loved my job, its a culture shock moving in the first place and then having to deal with the loneliness, I love going out but I usually do that in Dublin still, my heart is still there, I did a college thing for a year to try and make friends but sure as you said its hard, I've even joined gym etc and nothing. Sorry I can't help with an answer because I haven't found one that has worked for me yet! If you find any answers, please let me know cos at this rate I'm looking up jobs and houses in Dublin all the time but because my daughter is happy, would find it heartbreaking so I have to hold on for her sake.
AnonBride2b Posts: 2
Kenko - we've actually moved to Waterford too! :o0 Artois75 - H2B has settled in ok - to be honest I think he's missing his old life too, cos he got on like a house on fire with his old work mates, but he's finding the people he works with a little different. Like they're friendly and everything, he's just finding it hard to settle! I know by him that he's not as happy as he was. I'll definately try another class. Its difficult enough to get out to the local pub, cos just after buying the house and trying to save for a wedding, we're fairly low on funds, and as we're getting married up in the north east (where we're originally from) we're away a good few weekends meeting suppliers and stuff. I suppose after the wedding it'll get easier, just at the moment it would be nice to have some friends to go for a tea and a chat with. Like as I said, I really love the area we're living in, and the neighbours are really friendly, but I dont want to be annoying them or butting in on them -they're all quite a bit older and have kids etc. I'm in my mid 20's and everyone around seems to be in their mid 30's, early 40's
kenko Posts: 1430
OMG THATS GREAT WERE FRIENDS ALREADY,PLEASE GIVE YOUR SELF A CHANCE, IT IS HARD TO FIT IN BUT I PROMISE YOU, YOU WILL BOTH LOVE LIVING IN WATERFORD AFTER A WHILE.ILL BE YOUR FRIEND ANY TIME YOU NEED SOME ONE TO CHAT TOO, LIKE ME YOU NEED TO START SOME WHERE.KEEP IN TOUCH WITH ME YOU CAN ALSO PM ME ANY TIME YOU WANT.ILL BE HERE FOR YOU.
Dee24 Posts: 608
Ah thanks a million Kenko! When you getting married?
Dee24 Posts: 608
Crap! meant to login as the anon me to post that! Oh well, I just didnt want H2B to see it in case he thinks I regret the move! :o0 :o0
Roxanne Posts: 3201
I know how you feel - I moved from Dublin to Galway to be with my other half, and it isn't easy. Sometimes it feels like there is a cut-off point in your twenties after which you will never make any new friends for the rest of your life, but of course that isn't the case! It does take a bit of work though... You mentioned taking music and dance classes. Would you consider joining a musical society? That's what I did, and I've done three shows in the past year. I've met loads of people and it's been so much fun. Check out www.aims.ie to find out what societies are in your area. Joining a choir might be another option. I found it was something I had to work at, it doesn't just happen, but you will settle down and get to know people eventually. Best of luck with it!
Sunnyshine Posts: 753
We're moving to Waterford next month - looking for somewhere to rent at the moment! We don't know anyone down there and are both aware that we'll have to just put the effort in when it comes to meeting people. Our biggest 'problem' is that we're perfectly happy in our own company and so probably don't do as much as we should/could where socialising is concerned. That'll have to change though..