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Not sure bout his friend???

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joer Posts: 1617
he'd kill me if he read this but I just need to get this out. H2B has recently started palling with a bloke a few years his junior, he's a nice bloke and that but I'm concerned that he'll have a bad influence on my h2b. I know I sound like a control freak but it's driving me mad and I dont know how to approach the subject to him without sounding like a boiler. so this bloke doesnt work, yet manages to buy new things everyweek and go out more than us, he steals from the local shop and has also gotten my h2b into doing this too - like hello, you could afford it before, so why not now??? When h2b is with him he stays out till all hours, I know this guy does some recreational drugs, like C and have even been told that he might deal too. The circle of friends he pals with are also very immature and always seem to be going off and being with the girls they pal with, he even let slip the other day that the girl he was with had also been with somebody else, who is in a relationship with a child. It's making me very suspicious, nervous, paranoid and not trust my h2b. We've had some issues in the past with him texting girls, flirting, leaving me on my own when clubbing and once going off on a weekend bender and I told him if he ever did C again, that would be it, we'd be finished. He promised he wouldnt, but now I'm not too sure. I just feel that if thats what he's into, we're deffo on differnt wave lenghts and not sure what to do or say sorry, didnt realise this was abit of an epic.
Forgottenpassword Posts: 1078
Are you serious that your H2B is stealing from the local shop? What is he stealing? For me that is enough to make me think long and hard about why he is in a "relationship" with this new friend. It sounds like a toxic friendship and to be honest if your H2B was doing C before now, and now hangs out with a guy who might be dealing it, well then alarm bells would be ringing for me big time. You need to talk to your H2B about this, and make sure he puts and end to the stealing, that is the most stupid thing I have heard in a long time, he is a grown man, getting married soon, and he is stealing things from a local shop - makes him sound like a teenager!! FP
joer Posts: 1617
I know, it's very childish and I've said to him many times that if he was to get caught, would it be worth it?? I think not. He has done C about 3 times, but the weekend bender really turned him into a ahole, and I told him I was having none of it. I'm not a prude, but feel like we've always enjoyed having our few beers, why does he need more to have a good time, why does this good time always have to last until the early hours, till theres no beer left or until he's asleep. I'm making myself all annoyed and upset when I think of it, and find that I read into every little thing he says or does.. feel like a freak!!
joer Posts: 1617
thanks Girls, I was afraid somebody would reply like 'hes a grown man liet him do what he likes' and that, so cheers. I keep saying to myself, right I'll say something to him now, and then keep bottling out. I'm either a crier or a screamer in fights, and I dont want to do either and I dont want to fight either, but I just know that thats not the type of person I want to spend my life with - I feel like I sound like a drama queen, but it's how I feel.
lovindis Posts: 642
[quote="BouncyL":gasbw2qj][b:gasbw2qj]Stealing from the local shop!! :eek [/b:gasbw2qj]Sounds like a child, not even a teenager. I thought I was dreaming when I read it. That's awful Joeyjay! Is he really that easily influenced by people around him? Has he no confidence or self assurance? "Monkey see ,monkey do" is for kids. They usually grow out of it before the age of 8! You deserve better than this Joeyjay. He needs to grow up and have a reality check big time.[/quote:gasbw2qj] Sorry but eh that bit would really bother me, i dont mean like oh my god he could get in trouble, thats a given, id be thinking WTF is a grown man doing robbing cans of coke or whatever it is. Think you need to have a serious chat with him! AND if the friend is dealing or even takin that is enough for me to be puttin the brakes on. Doesnt sound like a model citizen to me
joer Posts: 1617
I'll talk to him tonight I hope if he's home from work early, I know it's very childish, you know the way lads are... not ever sure how to start up the conversation tbh
October_2007 Posts: 937
Joeyjay, Im sorry to be harsh, but you gotta kick you h2b's a** for him...stealing from the local shop :eek :eek :eek :ooh :ooh OMG, has he any cop on whatsoever. I thnk you need to issue an ultimatum... Best of luck and hugs for you, you must be worried sick *)
joer Posts: 1617
for some reason I just cant bring myself to say anything, not sure if it's fear of an argument, fear of the truth or what?? I'm such a wuss.
LoveLife123 Posts: 2138
Hi Joeyjay, I agree with the other posters about the C - if he knows you don't approve them he is just going to not tell you to try to "spare your feelings". It all looks very suspicious to me and it sounds like your h2b is going down a very slippery road. I would seriously think about marrying this guy if this is how he is behaving. Let us know what the outcome of your chat is ok. Don't be afraid to say everything you need to - just tell him sit down and listen to you and when you are finished he can speak.
joer Posts: 1617
thats another thing, he could just say, no I'm not doing it.. and I'll not know if he's being honest or just saying that so I wont have a go at home. We went to a party about 6 months ago (actually, it was this friends party) and the next morning I found a bag of C in his pocket, said it to him and he said it was one of the partygoers, but she didnt want to bring it home cause she has kids.. I said well, fair enough, but if it's yours your dead etc, and I put it away. I never told him where I put it (dont know why I didnt just flush it, but if she came back for it, what would I say) and only Sunday, I had a look where I'd hidden it.. and it was gone.. thats another thing concerning me....... i'm so confused, feel like crying at a drop of a hat. When we're together, he's so nice, sweet and good that I think thats why I'm afraid to say anything, dont want to rock the boat.. I'm half tempted to print this topic out and just leave it lying around :-8