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auldspice Posts: 27
I have been with my boyfriend for a few months.Lately he seems to have no interest in DTD.He has a divorce going through and has been told he is being made redundant.I have tried to be there for him and understand.However lately since the matter is going on about a month I have been snapping at him and been a bit moody.Hes happy out to call into me and sleep away not a bother on him and whenever i try to initiate anything he sleeps.I have brought this up with him and he said he knew what was wrong but said hes going through a lot. I accepted this and felt selfish and a bitch for saying anything.Then last weekend it came up again and I did tell him things generally would want to improve. I am very upset over this as I do care for him and would hate to lose him.I just dont know what to do, last night was same again, nothing he was tired and snored away.I am just thinking if we cant get this right in early days of relationship what will it be like if it goes on any further.He makes me feel like a nymphomaniac when i bring it up.I hate been silent with him but today I just cant face being all chirpy with him.I was silent with him this am and I know this is unfair on him too.As i say i would hate to end it and at the back of my mind is worry as to how he would cope with everything going on if i were to end it.I am wondering is this relationship doomed.(I have been hurt badly in the past and I feel i am doing all the minding in this relationship and its gotten to stage where i am just tired). Sorry for the longwinded post.
smittenb2b Posts: 675
Dont be too worried, sounds like he's a lot going on right now, I am sure it will settle down in a few weeks and it'll be back to normal! A marraige or 50year relationship doesn't mean that stuff like this doesn't happen. He's probably just wound up I'd try not to take offence and just support him through the hard time he's having. Your relationship should come out the stronger for it.
curliwurli Posts: 3369
it's a hard one to call - i can understand totally that you're feeling frustrated and probably a bit rejected but it does sound like he has an awful lot on his mind right now - the worry and stress of the divorce and losing his job might mean he just doesn't have sex on his mind. personally i would just try to let him know that you are there for him and maybe try to organise a special romantic night with no expectation of going the whole way and see how it goes??
littlemisshopeful Posts: 6101
Give him time. His libido has probably taken a leap, with all that is going on for him. He may be feeling a little depressed and just wants the comfort and affection that the closeness of you being together in bed, without sexual intimacy. Try to be patient and I hear that you are, but sometimes it takes a good while. Keep communicating about it though and don't put pressure on him for it either. Good luck.
Cappuccino Posts: 124
Do give him time... He's going through a lot right now. I've been made redundant in the past and the stress was phenomenal. I can't even begin to imagine how it feels to be in that position right now, with the current state of our economy. And to be going through a divorce on top of all that - I can see how his libido would take a tumble. Give him lots of cuddles and don't pressure him for sex, he's under enough pressure already. He'll come round when the time is right for him.
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