Its Friday but I am on a complete downer and need to vent my frustration a little !
Its a bit of a long story but will cut it as short as i can:-
I have these 2 friends who I have known with about 10 years or less maybe - they are meant to be my best pals but funnily enough I never hear from them or they never visit or never pick up the phone to say hello, it always seems to be me that makes the first move or emails or arranges to call to them. I have brought it up a few times in the past but apparantly I am mad for thinking like this and am accused of being paranoid and sometimes am being accused of being distant ???? Like if I don't contact them I might not hear a word for a few weeks, is this normal?????
What makes me mad altogether tough is the fact that I know they are always on the phone to each other and calling and have dinner together and stuff like that - they have the kind of friendship that I want to have with them and I just cant seem to put my finger on where it all went wrong? Maybe I am too boring or not funny enough or just a bit stupid I don't know. But what I do know is that it is driving me absolutely insane coz it's on my mind 24/7 and its even causing rows with my man.
Any advice would be welcomed :(
HI lady sheba
Sorry to hear your having a tough time with your friends.
Do they have partners?
I'm just asking cos if they didn't maybe thats why they are spending more time together than with you.
I know when I first started going out with hubby,my friends didn't bother inviting me to go out cos I was in a relationship and thought I wanted to be with him all the time.
Im the same as you,always contacting one close friend to arrange nights etc and in the end I just gave up and now I let her contact me
Please dont fall out with your man because of them making you unhappy,they are not worth it
Sorry dont know what else to say
I have friends exactly like this. I am always the one who stays in contact with everyone and makes the effort to go visit. A few of them have commented how good I am to keep in touch. This doesn't make it any easier though when you feel you're doing all the work. I don't see us as being any less of friends though. Everyone has their own things to do and life can seem really hectic at times.
Do your friends live closer to each other than to you? Do they have kids?
I have a few different groups of friends and find that the ones who live close to each other visit each other a good bit and also, the ones who have kids all speak to each other a lot more. This is natural though and makes sense.
Sorry I'm not much help but try not to let it cause arguments between you and your partner.
I don't know how to say thins without sounding harsh but you can't really force or ask people to be better friends with you. It either happens or it doesn't and it's natural that some people are closer than others-due to how close they live, similar circumstances, compatable personalities etc.
I would suggest not contacting them and see how long it lakes one of them to contact you. Maybe they've just gotten used to you doing all the organising? And if they don't seem to hvae any interest in contacting you then i'd move on and accept that these friendships may have run their course