you really have to sit him down and talk things through,
Alot of fellas seem to need to be pushed a bit and as soon as they are they think its their idea,
Sorry i'm not of any help but couldn't read and not reply
I was browsing through this and just felt that I'd give a male perspective on this, since I think it might be needed.
If I was to distil this down into a nutshell, albeit in a very harsh light, the above reads that you want to use what are mainly his savings to buy a house that is guaranteed to lose value in the next few years? You say you're feeling broody and you want to get a house of your own, but you're only starting to save now?
I may be wrong on this so please correct me if so, but your post read as if he's the guy with €40,000 or so and you only have €4000, and if you're only starting to save for this now, then you can't have wanted this for that long. (Alternatively, if you did want this but couldn't afford to save, are you really sure you can afford a mortgage and kids on your current salary?)
Guys don't have any of the same nesting/brooding instincts that ye do and that's fair enough, obviously he should be trying to come to a happy solution for both of ye, but girls tend not to want a house, they want a "dream home" or some such, which usually costs a lot more than 2.5 times the combined salary (The most widely accepted guess at what average house prices are going to fall to - 2.5 times average industrial wage, i.e. €180k or so).
You're essentially asking this guy to throw away his life savings because you don't want to wait a few years.
I'm not saying that some guys wouldn't say yes to that for a happy home, but I'm just trying to give you an idea of the scale of what you're asking for here.
Fair enough - obviously circumstances can always apply and I didn't mean to come across as critical. My core point is that it is reasonable to assume, in the current environment, that a house that you guys would pay €300,000 for this year, will be €270,000 or so next year. Probably €240,000 by the end of 2010. That's a high price to pay for wanting a house now, as opposed to in the medium.
It's a particularly big ask when it's his savings that are going to be the ones eroded away.
Obviously mine is only one financial viewpoint, but it is pretty widely held and your significant other appears to share that view.
You do seem to be cognisant of that though. so good luck to ye - I hope it all works out.
Potato man talks sense!
But there's no reason why you can't get married before you have your house together? That could be your compromise, get working on the wedding, and buy a house when it makes more financial sense. At least then you can start ttc as soon as you're in the house, not be waiting round for the wedding.
their both right, i always said i'd have a house before marraige but i wouldn't buy now cause of the value dropping