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Tell me I'm not on my own in this - Page 2

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gerbil Posts: 3528
Nozilla took the words out of my mouth. Don't talk about the wedding. Give yourselves a break from it all, go out, go to the cinema or dinner or stay in and have a nice couple of evenings off. You've 9 weeks to go yet, there are very few things you absolutely have to do over the next few days. TBH I think your H2B is voicing real concerns, and he probably just needs to see that you can be the person he fell in love with.
Boulevard Posts: 995
Thanks Nozzy, I would do that except H2B is up to his eyes in work at the moment, and I already stooped him finishing some of it last night because of us arguing. He will be busy doing that I think. I will try though to make things ok. I just wish it was all over to be honest, this wedding has caused no end of trauma for us. I am looking forward to the marriage, not this fupping day thats breaking my heart! I wish we could just cancel it and go to the registry office and get it over with.
NowGone Posts: 8042
I already know that I'll be putting in 12, 14 hour days in the run up to the wedding, and all I read in your OH's comments and actions is frustration - not at you, but at the situation. I don't think it needs to be "fixed", I think ye just need a few days/nights away from the bloody wedding. :thnk
willful Posts: 6822
[quote="NoZilla":12b9vof6]I already know that I'll be putting in 12, 14 hour days in the run up to the wedding, and all I read in your OH's comments and actions is frustration - not at you, but at the situation. I don't think it needs to be "fixed", [b:12b9vof6]I think ye just need a few days/nights away from the bloody wedding[/b:12b9vof6]. :thnk[/quote:12b9vof6] Completely agree-can you arrange a nice dinner for the weekend or something? It might give you guys something to look forward to for the rest of the week. If you can arrange it, then make sure that all wedding talk is off the cards for the night-strictly mindless chit-chat only!!! Don't worry too much about the scale of the argument B, it's just the pressure getting to you both. At one stage in the very close run up to the weddin, in the middle of an argument I just got up and left and went walking for about 2 hours in the rain. I turned off my phone and didn't even know where I was walking. That was completely and utterly out of character for me-we both usually finish arguments and neither of us would ever go anywhere without telling the other. Point is people do things that are completely out of character when they're stressed. [i:12b9vof6]You will be fine[/i:12b9vof6]. you both just need some r'n'r and a break from the wedding pressure.
Boulevard Posts: 995
Thank you guys so much for your support. I feel a bit better now knowing that I am not on my own. Its scary to say it/type it out loud as it seems like the end of the world. But the doom has lifted a little now. I hope H2B will be a bit happier also this evening.
happy bride 08 Posts: 169
You poor sweetheart, you sound so upset, anxious and stressed - but this is normal, your wedding is 9 weeks away and tensions are high. I'm getting married in under 7 weeks and H2B and I have had some mighty clangers in the past couple of months. They've calmed down now, but they were horrendous. A "wedding" (not marriage) is a lot of pressure on a couple, not least financially. Of course you're being a bit stroppy about things - you're a girl! That's just how we deal with these things. My H2B gets extremely anxious about the financial side of things, but once he sees me making an effort to pull back on spending he calms down a bit. So perhaps instead of going out for dinner, consider cooking him his favourite meal. Try and put the arguments behind you and put it down to the wedding pressures. I feel so sad for you being so upset in work over arguments that seem to happen to us all. Take care :action32
Valkstar Posts: 2747
I've got about 2 months left too, and I don't know if you saw any of my recent posts, but I've had a couple of major meltdowns where I just basically cried for hours and felt like the whole wedding was going to be a disaster. I put it down to pmt, but it was more than that. I'm not worried at all about the marriage...we're both certain we'll be okay, but the wedding is a lot of stress. I suppose I'm lucky in that my h2b is sooo laid back and knows it's not him I'm annoyed with...even when I'm being a total bitch to him :-8 Try not to mention the wedding for a few days, stay off Wol, and just try to go an enjoy yourselves like you used to. Go to the cinema, or for a walk (nothing expensive if you don't want to) or for a coffee after work. I hope you feel better soon :action32
eppi Posts: 171
As the others have said, you both really just need to take a step back from "the Wedding" and think about just the moment and yourselves. From his point of view, he is probably looking at all the money being spent on things he just doesn't see as important. To add insult to injury, in his eyes they don't even seem to be making you happy. No wonder he's stressed. You are stressed by the magnitude of keeping all the balls in air and everyone happy and no one seems to be, no wonder you are stressed. Often times a big blow out is all that is needed, very hard to go through but maybe it will be worth it. Maybe you both just needed to release steam and now that you have, things will be much lighter. Try not to dwell to much on what was said in the heat of the moment. I am sure we have all said things we wish we hadn't but life goes on and in a few days this will seem like a bad dream :thnk
Psycho Sue Posts: 1875
Hey boulevard, you are going through the most normal things hun, so try not to stress too much 9 even though its hard not too. I find that I get caught up in the moments when I'm crying and upset and its only when I have had time to time to think about things, that I realise that I wasn't thinking rationally (I neve do after we have argued). We are married now 9 months and went through the exact same thing, and from my experience with my friends we ALL went through something similar at some stage in the run up to the wedding. For us, it was from about 1 month to 2 weeks before, and I mean we were sniping, bitching and argueing for this full 2 weeks. After we got over it though, and in the 2 weeks running up to the wedding we both realised that it must have been the wedding preps that were causing it. We both admitted about a week before the wedding that neither of us knew why we were doing it?!?!?! You will get passed this hun, and you will go on to have a lovely build up to your wedding and then you will have a great day and honeymoon to follow :xox (you'll be back to this), and it will all have been worth it, cause you will forget about this rough patch... (((((((hugs))))))) :xxx I hope you feel better soon - but promise you, this will pass... sue
Missus Lippy Posts: 5879
Somebody asked me last night how the preparations were going and I piped up "well if you knew in advance what was involved in organising a wedding you probably wouldn't bother doing it" :o0 , it was a bit of an off-the-cuff comment but very true when I started to think about it. Again, I don't have any worries about life afterwards but can't help thinking it's going to take a miracle to get us both up that aisle. We are also both exhausted from work so are taking a bit of time out this weekend, getting a cheap deal in a hotel and all talk of weddings is banned. I think you just need to take a step back from things and think of all the reasons you got together in the first place, it will all work out.