What love is.....

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MrsYippee Posts: 804
Hi guys, I just really felt the need to post this about my h2b. His mother passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly 2 weeks ago. :o( It has been a terrible time for all, really so sad. All I have done is just be there for h2b and his family, its hard to know what else to do. My h2b has always been very loving but every day now he tells me even more how much he loves me and keeps thanking me for being there for him. He is going through so much heartache right now its almost unbearable and yet he's still thinking of me. He is just the most caring person and I would be utterly lost without him. When you see your other half going through pain it really reminds you of how much you love them and can't bear to see them hurting. If it was me I don't think I could proceed with the wedding but he has been adamant. He put a bet on cheltenham with his Dad last week and won a few bob and gave it me to treat myself. Of course I didn't accept it but I just thought it was such a sweet gesture. There are a million other little things he does that make feel so loved. I just thought I would post this as all too often we can get caught up in what we think are the bigger things like work or the stresses of planning a wedding and all this has been a real eye opener to me as to how none of that stuff really matters once we are happy and in love with our other half. Sorry for the full on post guys. Just having one of those days :-8
SteveMcQueen Posts: 466
Yep that's definitely the real thing alright. I won 1500 brick during Cheltenham last week but I'm not going out with anyone at the minute so I just kept it. :o0
MrsYippee Posts: 804
he he, if he'd won that much I might have been tempted to accept half....!
Carlow09 Posts: 234
So sorry for your loss, and for your h2b :o( . Its really such a tough tough time... sounds like you are a lovely couple and very supportive of eachother. Its these times in life you will remember and reinforce your relationship and love for each other. Definitely agree that it puts life in perspective when these things happen.
PradaBabe Posts: 146
Your poor hubby to be yippeejuly09, I don't know how I would have coped without my other half, we were only going out for 4 months when my Mam died of cancer he was there for me through it all, we had a miscarriage a couple of years later which hit him really hard but hopefully now we have turned the corner. We now have a beautiful baby girl whom he absolutely adores, we try to remember whats really important and make time for each other when things get a bit manic, he's the best :lvs
gerbil Posts: 3528
Yep, that sounds like love all right (on both sides) O-O
sunny505 Posts: 1807
YippeeJuly09, When your mother dies - someone who has always such an important part of your life - it does a few things to you. Firstly, it brings home to you your own immortality and also that of those you love. It suddenly makes you realise how fragile and precious life is - especially for your own loved ones. Secondly, it changes everything utterly cos all you have known has changed. Be there for him as you have been. My H2B has been brilliant for me. He just lets me cry. He does lots of practical things for me that I simply can't face doing - cooking, washing, etc. The other thing I would say to you is this - it may appear that he is okay after a few months and then all of a sudden he's not. That's the way grief goes - up and down. I had the blackest worst week of my life this week - cannot believe how low I have been feeling. It is probably to do with Mother's Day today. The pain is so bad. You, yourself, cannot realise how bad it is unless you also have suffered such a loss. I never knew before now. Anyway there's no way around it, You have to go through it and with you by his side, I'm sure he will get there.
dasein Posts: 292
Thats so lovely. I can completely relate to what you are going through - my mom died on Saturday from an incredibly fast progressing cancer (we only heard the previous Friday that she had it). My DH has been absolutely incredible. My mom is being waked at home, and out of respect for her he has sat up with her the last two nights, jall through the night, all by himself. Its so lovely. He cooked a full-on proper dinner for us all yesterday because although people are being so kind bringing sandwiches etc, he wanted to make sure we had a proper square meal. He has made endless cups of tea for all callers, and is minding everyone, not just me. He is being so loving and supportive and fantastic. I'm obviously reeling with the shock and the tiredness and the sadness, but even through that I'm just so proud of him. My mom would be so impressed by him now - she was always a fan of his, but oh wow, this is a whole new level. He's not only a brilliant husband, he's an amazing son in law too. I know he is going to really look after my dad now too. :lvs Sorry if I am rambling, but I guess you can appreciate the context.
MrsYippee Posts: 804
Sunny505 and dasein I am so incredibly sorry for both your losses. I know that for me with my partner, on the days he is ok I almost forget the pain he is going through and have to keep reminding myself and to make sure that I am really there for him. He could litterally seem in great form one minute and so so sad the next, it can be heart breaking. I can only imagine what you all must be going through. I wish you every happiness in the future :action32
sunny505 Posts: 1807
Hey Dasein, So sorry. Am here for you. Mind yourself. You'd be amazed at how you find the strength to get through these few days. It's the days and weeks ahead that it gets tough - your days aren't spent at the hospital or organising the funeral or meeting people. It's very hard at that stage as it starts to sink in. If you're working, take plenty of time off if at all possible. Be gentle with yourself and only do what you feel able to. Thinking of you.