Dropping that engagement hint… it’s a loaded dilemma. You don’t want to come across like you’ve lost your mind, but on the other hand, if you don’t say anything, you could be waiting forever. What’s a girl to do? Plan with military precision. Observe. Wait for the right time. Execute plan. Simple, right? Right! Here’s how to turn your ‘mission impossible’ into ‘infinity and beyond’!
1. How preoccupied is your other half? Is he or she worried about money, having a career hiccup, racing against time towards PhD deadline, or similar? Take this into consideration when preparing your case for engagement hint – they may just not be in a good position to tackle this at the moment. If you still wish to proceed, do it gently. Make it very clear that no matter what life throws at them, you’ll be there by their side, forever and ever and always. Emphasise ‘forever and ever and always’. Repeat if necessary. Watch the reaction. Proceed to next step.
2. Talk about the future – at least five years from now. After all, if all goes well, you’ll be celebrating your 4th wedding anniversary by then! Mention something BIG you’d like to do together in 2020 – like a month-long language course in Japan, volunteering in Africa, or having enough money for a deposit on a house. What’s their reaction? If the discussion is all about ‘we’, the prognosis is excellent!
3. Create opportunities for the two of you to be alone, to set the stage for the proposal. You know all those romantic comedies where someone popped the question in a restaurant, or town square, or top of the Eiffel Tower, and everyone clapped? Yeah, that’s because it’s the movies. In real life, your other half would probably be TERRIFIED to ask in public. So make some extra effort to spend quality alone time together as part of the engagement hint – it could be as simple as going on a romantic trip, or to a lovely nearby hotel for a weekend.
4. The good old magazine left lying about, open on an engagement ring page… does it actually work as an engagement hint? Well, everyone says it’s one of the ways to make your intentions known, so give it a go! There’s only one thing you shouldn’t do – use a bridal magazine. Because, to people who are just realising you want to be asked the big question, bridal magazines are scary as hell. Use a normal mag instead. Vanity Fair, Cosmo, Bazaar… they’re far less scary, even if they print photos of badly Photoshopped women.
5. Attend all functions where there’s a chance someone will mention wedding bells. The perfect ones are those with aunties, grannies, and other couples. Anniversaries, other people’s weddings, christenings, 30th birthday parties… and if anyone says ‘you two will be next’ or words to that effect, don’t immediately go ‘no, no, no!’ for fear your partner will be embarassed. Just smile graciously or beam as if you’d just won an Academy Award.
6. Get close to his/her mam. If she’s like most, she’ll be longing to buy that hot-pink fascinator and matching purse at M&S. She’ll also likely be the one to bring up the topic of dancing at your wedding – so go along with it! Just ask her for one favour – not to speak to your partner about your desire to get engaged. Most people will have grown out of listening to their parents about five years ago, so her words may just have an opposite effect. But get her on your side and make your feelings known! You can never have too many allies for your engagement hint.
7. Talk casually about the wedding you’d like to have to show them it’s nothing to be afraid of. When the right opportunity presents itself, say casually ‘you know what kind of wedding would be great? A little village church, then a reception at that lovely hotel we stayed at last year, with a bbq and a really good band’. Why would anyone be scared of that, it sounds awesome! Or, to put it in another context – he may think of the wedding as Jaws… but it’s up to you to show him it’s simply a pleasant cruise on Richard Branson’s yacht.
8. As a step up from number 7, talk casually about marriage to show it’s a completely natural thing, and that you’re in favour. Don’t you know some people will never ask… for fear of rejection? Show them there’s nothing to be afraid of! If you have friends who just got engaged, talk about how much you loved the ring. If you attend a wedding anniversary party, say how lovely it all was. If Harry Styles gets engaged, act surprised but wish him all the best (just don’t sound like you’re 12 years old and heartbroken, that may have the opposite effect).
9. If your partner hasn’t met your family yet, make sure you introduce them. Or if they have met, but not spent any decent amount of time together, it may be time to kick it up a notch. Make some plans to go out or invite your parents over for dinner to your place, mark your other half’s birthday… make them a part of your family. So you may have to cook a little bit more… so what! It’ll be completely worth it.
10. Take a deep breath… and ask straight-up. Say, ‘we’ve been together x years. I love you and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. How about it – me in a white dress, you rocking up to church in a Lamborghini? And we live happily together ever after?’ You’ll get one of two reactions – panic/surprise, in which case you should have a glass of wine handy. Or… a totally cool smile, which means they’ve thought about it already! BINGO!
Now all you have to do is have a picture of the ring you want handy, and join WOL to get all your planning done like a breeze. Congratulations!
Main image of ring, photo by Kate Holstein via Style Me Pretty