30th birthday dilemma

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beinganon Posts: 12
Hi all, Going anon for this one. Have a dilemma am a bit upset about it please please some advice. My boyfriends 30th bday is coming up- i asked him did he want a party which i gladly would organise and he said no no he just wanted to meet lads for few pints. In the meantime another function has come up for me- now its not the actual night of his bday its a few nights before so I spoke to him ages ago about going to this as it involved a close friend. He was cool in the gang- go for it. I was still gonna be around his actual birthday. Anyway his mates are planning a right session for him the night this other function is on and that s cool with me. But at the weekend they all started giving me grief about missing his birthday session and now boyfriend seems to have changed his tune too. things are very icky at the min. I feel really bad but like at the same time I'm not sure why they/he are making such a big deal about it. I will be home the day before his actual birthday, I would never have committed without speaking to him first. we are going out less than 8 months so you know i really didnt know if maybe his family wanted to do something for him. i suggested organising a proper shin dig the weekend after as opposed to before which seemed to be a runner at first but now it seems oh this one night is my celebration and thats it and now your missing it. I have spent not only a fortune but a lot of time and effort finding the perfect gifts that i know he will love and i have booked an amazing restaurant for the night of his birthday. Im trying to do whats best. Am I in the wrong and how do i make it better??? i feel like crap!! thanks for taking time :thnk
Happy Mammie Posts: 1507
Hi beinganon i dont think you are in the wrong. You did discuss things with him about the other function. And he dident mind from reading your post i think its his friends that are sturring things. its not as if you will miss his actual birthday. He can have his boys night and a night with you nothing wrong with that. My Dh is 30 in April and if he wants to go for a lads night out before his birthday thats fine once i get to spend his actual birthday with him. do not feel guilty as you have been honest and open about the other function. Good luck :wv
hagfromhell Posts: 2146
His friends should get a grip and so should he. Its not as if you are going to australia and missing his birthday. You are not in the wrong, go with your original plan and ye will have a lovely night. His mates only want a big session, whereas you and him will have lovely time together x