I'm just looking for advise on what to do to make him feel better about the whole thing or is he right?
I feel really sick to my stomach at the moment the reason being my H2b is really disappointed & pissed off with me. I'm sorry this is so long and goes into so much detail but I just need to give the full picture and would really appreciate an honest opinion please.
Basically I organised a surprise 30th birthday for H2B last weekend and not many of his friends showed up and absolutely none of my friends did even though I asked them all and gave tons of notice. Out of a possible 40+ people only 20 showed up. I'd been planning it with his parents for weeks before and had got help from one of his best mates, I asked him to give me numbers of everyone in their circle of friends and anyone else I should know about so then I found 2 venues that were nice to hold the party in and booked both thinking I'd decide nearer the time which one to eliminate. I then got his mother to come with me to the venues and she helped me choose the right one. I asked all his mates to bring their other halves to make up the numbers, in all I text everyone twice and rang them twice to confirm they'd be going.
So anyway on the night his friends (about 10 lads) turned up ALL without their girlfriends (they all had some excuse as to why they couldn't make it that night but never told me before) one by one I start getting texts off my friends with various excuses as to why they couldn't come some seemed genuine and some were questionable, I felt really let down by them but anyway some of his family were there also but one of his oldest friends never bothered to come and some lads that were on his old football team that I had trouble getting in touch with initally but had eventually got to talk to 2 of them, had decided to go into a stags in town instead the place was a smallish area upstairs in a pub it would have held about 40 people comfortably.
On the night H2B looked shocked and I heard him saying to one of his mates "I'm not impressed, I know way more people than this". He seemed happy enough though, I gave him details of his trip to Vegas and he was thrilled. He was a bit disappointed that his oldest friend never showed up and he said there were some guys in his job that I could have asked and I admit he's right about that I really should have tried to get in contact with his job to see was there anyone who wanted to go. I've never met any of his workmates and although he went to Liverpool with 2 of them once he would never socialse with them generally so that's why I forgot them, there was about 3 of them. So like I said he seemed happy enough even text me the next day to say thanks for everything.
Then on Tuesday and last night he was a bit off with me and I asked him what was wrong, he said he had more time to think about it and he was pissed off with me and felt that I didn't make much of an effort to get everyone to go and if I thought there was a chance people wouldn't go, I should have cancelled it totally and had a meal instead, but I was sure they all would go. I explained all of the above to him but he seems to think that I left everything til last minute which is not the case, I apologised for leaving his work friends out and he was pissed off over his football friends not coming but I did get in contact with them, they just decided to go to the stags so that's hardly my fault. He said I shouldn't have had it that he felt like a complete sap standing there with his birthday cake and not many people there. I think he feels disappointed about those that let him down, as do I but his family and close friends and the people that mattered were there, but even still I can see why he was disappointed. He said I should have got his phone and rang everyone in it even if I didn't know who they were but since it was a surprise I didn't want to be acting suspicious and risk getting caught rooting through his phone which was why I was relying on his friend to give me all the numbers and I had gotten most of the numbers.
Anyway if you read this far thanks!
is he serious ?
it sounds to me like you made a huge effort to contact everyone and fair pay to you ... its not your fault that people decided to go else where on the night.
Perhaps its a reflection on him rather than you.
he sounds extremely selfish, childish and rude and if it were me I would be telling him to cop on and grow up!
He is one selfish git not to appreciate the effort you went to. How dare he come back and say ooooohhh you didn't make up the numbers. It's not the number of people that are there but teh quality of people that are there that counts and you said it was his nearest and dearest. If he's embarrassed at his friends not turning up he should take it up with them considering they were invited with partners!! You should not be carrying the guilt trip for that.
I'd kick his as for acting like a spoiled brat and not thanking you for the serious effort you went to.
[quote="tiredbride":1xv7wtia]He is one selfish git not to appreciate the effort you went to. How dare he come back and say ooooohhh you didn't make up the numbers. It's not the number of people that are there but teh quality of people that are there that counts and you said it was his nearest and dearest. If he's embarrassed at his friends not turning up he should take it up with them considering they were invited with partners!! You should not be carrying the guilt trip for that.
I'd kick his as for acting like a spoiled brat and not thanking you for the serious effort you went to.[/quote:1xv7wtia]
Dito- selfish Shizzer
i would slap the head off him - Sorry now but he is a brat. You went to a lot of trouble for the ungreatful brat and i would tell him. MEN
We're dammed if we do and we're dammed if we dont.
Best thing to do with a whining baby is to ignore it, same goes for men too!
Don't you dare blame youself for this!!
Can you tell i'm in my moods now
Is he for real? Seriously?
To me he sounds like a spoilt 3 yr old who's friends didn't come to his party
From your post, you went through a lot of bother to do this for him and he's pissed off with you? How dare he.
[u:fwa5450j][i:fwa5450j]It's not your fault that everyone didn't turn up, maybe he should think about that himself[/i:fwa5450j][/u:fwa5450j]
If that was my H2B he's get a serious kick up the h**e. He obviously doesn't appreciate the thoughtfullness behind it...Did he do anything like that for you? Not sure if you're close to a 30th bday but i can assure you that he wound't go through the effort that you did
I'm actually annoyed now
Obviously there is a reason people didn't show up to his 30th ..probably cause he is right selfish muppett
Why are you feeling down ..you did your best and all you get is an earfull
Well I'd be telling him where to go,
And seriously I'd give him a decent earbashing not be pandering to his moodiness
Come on girl stand up for yourself
he should be thanking you not giving out to you
You asked at the end for any ideas on how to cheer him up!! My god he doesnt realise what he has you did a fantastic job fair play to you I wouldnt go to all that trouble. He seriously needs a kick up the butt you deserve a major treat from him not that other way round. If I were you Id turn into the one that is in a bad mood till he asks whats wrong with you and let it all spill out. A gold star and more you deserve girlie
a good kick in the arse required i think. don't you feel one bit bad about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god I can't believe he is blaming you for this. How dare he!! I think you should tell him to take his anger and disappointment and point it in the right direction. And if he still feels like that tell him to talk to his mother so he can find out exactly the amount of effot you made.
on top of that I would tell him that until such a time that he is prepared to apologise to you for being such a horrible husband, he can go and jump. What a pig! I'm sorry but seriously you can't accept that you are to blame? Is he usually like this? If not I would stop this blaming you routine here and now, and I would stop taking the blame too. Ungrateful horrible man!
Sorry I knwo you love him, but I am so angry on your behalf. My husband would only have been half way through the sentence of blaming me and I would have thrown him off the balcony.