he needs space.....

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FeelingAnxious Posts: 12
FeelingAnxious Posts: 12
i take it from the 109 views and no response....there is none :weep
lady lolly Posts: 391
Hi hun, Sorry have no advice to give but i hope things work themselves out for you!! Did he say why he needed space? Big hugs for ya :action32
Ash20 Posts: 49
If he wants space I'd respect his wishes and give him that. Now how much space he actually needs would really depend on the circumstance and the reasoning behind why he wants space... Myself and hubby went through this before we got married it was early in the relationship but, after a few days we were fine. My advise would be not to push him...let him deal with whatever is going on with him, Reassure him that you'll be there for him and in the meantime, try to occupy yourself otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy. Did he say why he needs space? Are you together long?
dancingfeet Posts: 826
My new husband and I broke up for 6 months a number of years back. I remember when we did get back together it was all strange and felt all oneside from me. I would call him to see how he was and doing. I remember thinking to myself that I can't continue like this. He decided to go away for a break away from the norm as he needed space and time to think. I at this point had come to the conclusion that the relationship however oneside was finished and he would inform me when he came back. When he did come back he rand me and saif that he needed to talk to me. I was prepared for the worst. How wrong was I, He was sorry for everything and the way he treated me as at the time he was unsure we would work out and was afaid to get hurt again. He informed me that he was going to put his house on the market and we couldn't then buy our family home. The day we moved into the house he proposed. Some of you here might say that I was a fool to let him treat me the way he did but I loved him to bits. A man needing space may not be normal but some mem do need time to sort their head out and can' t do it when we are around. Hope it all works out well for you. :xox
FeelingAnxious Posts: 12
Ash20 Posts: 49
[quote="FeelingAnxious":2gy41ctm]thanks for replys ladies, were together 4 years. we had been arguing alot, so i suggested finishing it to him cause we were going round in circles over stupid things. anyway this back fired and i got the i want space conversation, he is going threw some personal issues at the moment aswell and getting these seen to. we met up last week and he said we'd sort something out and gave me a huge hug but i havent heard from him now in a few days and i miss him. i hope this isnt the end for us. i just dont no weather to txt him or just leave him be til he see's sense![/quote:2gy41ctm] I'd leave him for a bit longer hun just to let his get himself together. Have you set a date for when you meet up again?
Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
Outcome where relationship continued: I'm seeing my now DH almost 9 years. Around year 4 we went through a rough patch. He was more like my best friend then my boyfriend, I started to recoil when he'd try and be [i:319rm5s6]playful[/i:319rm5s6] with me. Also it bugged me that he was so submissive to me. He always wanted me to make decisions and never went out with his pals. It was a fierce lonely situation to be in because I didnt know how to fix it. I had to fair to him and told him how I felt and it broke his heart (god I feel terrible even typing that). We decided instead of breaking up, we would go on a break for a month and afterwards would make a decision. We spoke ONCE during that month and sent maybe 5 texts to each other. I went out clubbing a lot but had no real interest in going off with anyone else. I started to miss him terribly but had to be mindful that it wasnt the routine or friendship I was missing. After a month we started dating again. We put an effort into our relationship side of things. Gradually over a couple of months I started to fall in love with him again.Then something awful happened to me and I needed his support/love more then ever and it pushed us together even more. It took time but I can hand on heart say I've never been so in love. And yes, he's still my best friend but he's every else too. We needed to discover ourselves again. Outcome where relationship ended: My brother was going out with a bit of a nutcase a few years ago (I’d be here all day giving you story after story of the stunts this girl use to pull). She had no friends because no one could stand her personality. Knowing this, I always made a huge effort with her but man she made it hard. Anyway they got engaged and our family were pretty gutted but were supportive to my brother and didn’t let him know how we felt. One day I asked him plain and simply ‘are you sure’, because he was a shell of the man he use to be, she’d drained him of energy and personality. He said yes I love her. That was all I needed to know. Then about 3 months before the wedding on a trip to my mams house I noticed him being particularly quiet and pale looking when I said I’d booked flights for his wedding. I’d a quiet word with him again asking was all ok. He said he thinks he just really wanted someone to love and doesn’t think he wants to go through with it. Now this would have been an ideal moment for me to twist the knife but I didn’t. I suggested he move home for 2 weeks to have a think about things. He went home that evening, and god love her, she was devastated but let him do what he needed to do (the most sane thing she ever did). She rang him every night and his phone was constantly beeping with texts from her. She was constantly telling him that she cant live without him etc. After 2 weeks he sent the whole family a big email apologizing for any loss of money on flights but he cant go through with the wedding, that he’d been feeling like this for a long time but couldn’t admit it to himself. I really think if she’d left him alone for that fortnight that MAYBE he’d have stayed with her, but to be fair I think their problems went way behond that. She came crying to my door telling me I’m her only friend and how does she make him love her. I told her I understood she’s heartbroken and things arnt black and white but why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. We spoke for hours and she mentioned she thought my bro needed councilling (which I didn’t take to very well but I didn’t make the chat worse for her given her state). I told her she needs to broaden her spectrum of friends and go to her own family for support as I have to be there for my bro (I was quite nice about it and suggested soem classes where she'd meet people). I felt terrible. But within a year they were both in different relationships and are all extremely happy.
stick Posts: 1229
one thing i remember been said at the pre marriage course is after 3 or 4 years realtionships go to a lull. we are together 9 years and h2b said after the course he remembers that lull it was all bout spicing up the relationship and keepin things going.
Rosewater Posts: 372
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