happy bride 08
[quote="appeltizer":39msjuue]what i'm wondering is WHY he told you the intimate details of it??? it's odd to say the leaat. what husband would tell his wife he was sucking on another girls breasts if he knew he was putting his marriage in jeopardy??? he was in a private room right? so no one else would have known what went on... i'd just question his motives.... did he want to hurt you?
if he did do it, i really would not be ok with it. that is cheating[/quote:39msjuue]
Eh, he was being honest??
eh, what bloke would admit to that????
op, how did you find out about the private lap dance in the first place?
happy bride 08
[quote="appeltizer":5lkmtvrm]eh, what bloke would admit to that????[/quote:5lkmtvrm]
An honest one
[quote="Forgottenpassword":1ccg4qpv]Are you sure he was allowed to suck on her breasts?
Did he suck on her breasts, that is more relevant I suppose than whether he was allowed to or not.
I am no prude, and lapdancing as such does not bother me, but if my husband sucked on another womans breasts during a dance that would not be okay with me.
Here, here - if he actually DID this then let there be war - not on my shift, he would be a dead man!
No problem with him heading to a club on a stag or whatever - but there is a line and sucking another womans breasts DEFINATLY crosses it
I would have done the same.
I hope you feel better soon chick
BTW one of the best books I have been reading is called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Its also a DVD which is supposed to be quite good. Worth a look if you're interested.
I couldn't not reply after what happened to me at the weekend. I was at a hen all day Sat, very civilised and girly, home at half 1; H2B was at an investment seminar with guys he knows and they went out for drinks etc and on to a strip club. This is only the 2nd time H2B has gone to one since we moved in (18 months) so its a bit of a one-off and I know he wants to be mates with these investment guys so I don't mind so much.
When he finally came to bed about 4am I was still awake, and having not DTD for a few days we were both up for a quickie. What I wasn't expecting was for him to start telling me things he had been doing at the strip club, not just lapdances but touching, rubbing up and down girls legs, fingers in their thongs etc. Quite explicit and detailed - but I do have to point out that this is something we often talk about for fun while we are DTD (like doing it with another girl) but with absolutely NO intention of actually doing anything about it... I was quite taken aback but still half-asleep so let him go on and finish up before rolling over and going asleep (have to admit I had been gagging for sh*g so let him get on with it). I so couldn't believe what I was hearing I had let him continue.
Woke up quite at 8 in the morning and lay in bed for an hour and a half digesting all of that and got really upset - so I can totally understand how you were feeling when he told you. What I felt then was that although he had cheated, it wasn't something that could break us up, but that I needed to make him understand what the boundaries are and I know that if I set them, he would stick to them.
When he finally woke up I accused him of cheating and then he told me that what he had said the night before was all fantasy, that nothing had happened other than the usual pole-dancing etc. I understood what happened and how I had misunderstood what he had said, but it didn't stop me being really upset still all day Sunday and into Monday. I couldn't stop thinking about him running his hands up and down those girls legs, etc (sorry don't want to describe it all here) and then I realised that the only person I was upsetting was me.
I've been reading a lot of personal development-type books lately and one of the main subjects that comes up is - you get more of what you focus on. So while I was focusing on being upset and hurt and thinking about what he did, I got more upset and more hurt. So I've just had to stop thinking about it, and focus on other things, like our wedding coming up in August, and getting to the gym and just anything else. He has apologised, we both know why and how this happened, so we just need to move on.
So my advice to you is - find it in your heart to forgive him. At least he had the balls to be honest with you. Blokes don't understand how easily girls are hurt, but the more you focus on your own hurt the more you are going to get. Focus on the good stuff, the positive side to your relationship, and be glad that your man is honest with you.
Best of luck
maybe im wrong but him telling you the explicit details of his lapdance comes across as twisting the knife
oh and then i did this,.....
i mean.. did he need to tell you that?
I totally agree with anothy hutton on this one.
fine if your guy told you he didn't do anything. but i think its wrong to just say 'forgive him sure wasn't he honest?' thats like giving someone a carte blanche! hey you cheated on me but it's ok cos you were 'honest'
Ashdublin, are you serious?