[quote="TokenMale":2ugaqpzu][quote="Briony":2ugaqpzu]What is the story with these strip clubs? Why do fella feel the need to go to them on their stag - it's so bloody tacky.
Men like looking at naked women. Tackiness doesn't come into it.[/quote:2ugaqpzu]
Yes, that's true - even if the women in these clubs are skanky, cheap looking things....
I'm sorry, but I don't think I could ever get over it if my H2B did this. I'm quite insecure anyway and have issues with my looks so if he went off and started sucking on one of these women's boobies I'd be furious. I wouldn't be able to get it out of my head and would constantly be wondering if he was thinking of her boobs when he was with me etc... Pathetic, I know, but I think that unless you're 100% confident in yourself, this will be an issue. I envy the type of women who could get over this, but I couldn't so I'd probably have moved out too. When it comes down to it though I hope I'm with someone who would never do this as he already knows what damage it would do to our relationship - if only the OP's husband had known that!
Maybe the OP just needs some time to herself to clear her head and sort out what she wants to do - nothing wrong with that if staying in the house would have made things harder.
I have to say that I am 100% secure in my relationship and know that it would take a lot to seriously damage it, let alone break it. Maybe that's why it is easier for me or NZ to say - well, so he made a mistake, and he apologised so let's move on.....
Ficidy - that's a very valid point you have.
Very valid Ficidy and I never thought about it that way. I am also very secure in myself and my relationship and feel I could get over it. As for men going to strip clubs...if it is a bit of fun (not going so far as OP husband) on a stag or whatever then I don't see the harm. If it is a weekly occurrance then that is not on. I have actually been to a stip club with OH and a big group of friends (girls included) when we were on holiday. I found it very boring! The girls were not even smiling, just going through the motions on the stage. All the girls that were with me were in agreement that it was a bit of a let down as we were very curious which is why we went in the first place. The lads just thought it was so great that there were naked women on the stage.
I have to say that I am 100% secure in my relationship and know that it would take a lot to seriously damage it, let alone break it. Maybe that's why it is easier for me or NZ to say - well, so he made a mistake, and he apologised so let's move on.....[/quote:8rc1k0x0]
Possibly. I'm 100% about my relationship, but I certainly wouldn;t be 100% about myself - like most girsl.
I juet think that anyone can make a mistake, a stupid mistake, one, at the very least. He lost the run of himself did something stupid in the heat of the moment/in the grip of booze. It's certainly not trivial, but like I said, it wouldn't finish my marraige.
[quote="ashdublin":8rc1k0x0]Ficidy - that's a very valid point you have.
Ficidy - I agree with you.
But seriously, do most men actually think of a night out in a stripclub as a fun, enjoyable night out? Is it not more fun to drink and have a laugh with your friends instead of paying money to ogle at almost naked women? I just don't get it - probably because I'm not a man, eh?
I think that only some men actually really enjoy going - a lot just go because "all the lads" are going and they are expected to go along.
My BIL gatecrashed my sister's hen night as he was on his stag and his best man and mates wanted to go to a strip club and he didn't!!
yeah on my stag i let everyone walk into a strip joint and bailed on them with one other mate
AnthonyHutton I like your style!
did i mention the other mate was a hooker.. lol!
Op what's your husband like in general? Does he oogle women on tv, make comments about women that you both know? I don't expect you to answer here, just throwing those thoughts out there.
I can understand how a wife could forgive her husband if she was certain that this was something out of the ordinary and unlikely to happen again, and not something that hubby derived alot of pleasure from. If it was the case that the wife was suspicious that the husband enjoyed it more than he was letting on and might like to do it again, then that's a whole other story.
You know your husband best. You know whether you are confident his actions were out of the ordinary and an indiscretion that wont happen again or whether it's something he's proud of.
I think someone mentioned that you are expecting, has your pregnancy had an impact on your relationship? People do make mistakes, and drink makes us all impulsive and impair our judgement. You know best whether this was a once off or something more serious.
Sorry you have to deal with all of this.