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4 months married-have we lade a mistake - Page 2

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sillymoo Posts: 337
oh this is must be horrible for you, i dont wanna sound cruel but i feel sorry for your husband. Does he know anything? I was with my ex for years and everyone talked about how we'd saty together but like pp said i felt trapped with no way out! I liked him but didnt love him, the longer i stayed with him the harder it was to leave but when i finally got the courage i felt great apart from the guilt tbh, its horrible hurting someone else but if it keeps going on the way it is now for you hun then i think it will get a lot worse.
blink Posts: 821
Your husband most likely has an idea of this anyway, there is no way you can be in a relationship and not know that the pther person has doubts. It will be a hard move to make, these things are never easy but it will be the most important decision of your life. I recommend you take some time away, both of you , alone together before you make a decision. I'm married almost a year. Myself and my dh met when my dd was 1. we have always been parents first and after having dd almost 2 now we just got on with things. We fought constantly and were highly stressed out. The weeks coming up to the wedding were vewry hard with stress from other people that I felt I just wanted to run away at times. When we did get to go on honeymoon, which was almost a disaster after our cash and passports were stolen, we just sat back and relaxed. We did the things young couples would do, I mean were both in our 20's but we were always responsible for kids and mortgages, so we got to relax. It was like we started all over again just or those few days, we had a great time and really enjoyed being with nobody else. It made us so much stronger as we knew that we loved each other outside of the home as much as in it iykwim. If after a couple of days you havent regained anything then you really have to take action. We all get confused and we alll get cold feet and I'm sure there are a lot of people here willing to give you advise through this situation.
JuliaItaly Posts: 922
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this, it must be awful. I don't have any other words of advice better than the many people who have posted here. I hope it works out for you. :xox
JuliaItaly Posts: 922
I wasn't going to say this because I don't come on her to have any arguments and I don't want to take over this thread but this is one of the most pointless and juvenile posts I've ever read. I really wonder what age you are. [quote="tiredbride":2rmjvl3m]You've gotten yourself into a pretty big mess here! It's only you that can get yourself out of it. If you are always going to feel unfulfilled by this guy then you need to break up with him rather than keep on living a lie. Yes you should feel on top of the world nad not having these doubts but you don't so deal with it.[/quote:2rmjvl3m]
MrsTiredbride Posts: 3397
[quote="JuliaItaly":3s8bx55t]I wasn't going to say this because I don't come on her to have any arguments and I don't want to take over this thread but this is one of the most pointless and juvenile posts I've ever read. I really wonder what age you are. [quote="tiredbride":3s8bx55t]You've gotten yourself into a pretty big mess here! It's only you that can get yourself out of it. If you are always going to feel unfulfilled by this guy then you need to break up with him rather than keep on living a lie. Yes you should feel on top of the world nad not having these doubts but you don't so deal with it.[/quote:3s8bx55t][/quote:3s8bx55t] Why?
JuliaItaly Posts: 922
[quote="tiredbride":2tn2ego6][quote="JuliaItaly":2tn2ego6]I wasn't going to say this because I don't come on her to have any arguments and I don't want to take over this thread but this is one of the most pointless and juvenile posts I've ever read. I really wonder what age you are. [quote="tiredbride":2tn2ego6]You've gotten yourself into a pretty big mess here! It's only you that can get yourself out of it. If you are always going to feel unfulfilled by this guy then you need to break up with him rather than keep on living a lie. Yes you should feel on top of the world nad not having these doubts but you don't so deal with it.[/quote:2tn2ego6][/quote:2tn2ego6] Why?[/quote:2tn2ego6] Because you stated the obvious to a person who knows very well the situation and told her deal with it, pretty simplistic and silly don't you think? The girl is obviously upset, you mention you went through this, why not give her advice then? Surely someone who has gone through it can help more than us who haven't, if you tried to park your own views and be objective on this situation then you might actually have some advice for her. If you think your post was grand then fair enough, I'm not arguing with you about it but I just think the girl is going through enough and your post was not at all helpful. Sorry if you disagree, like I say, I've no wish to argue.
Mistified Posts: 2680
^Well, while I see your point Julia, Tiredbride did tell the OP that she needs to break up with him rather than live a lie, so that was good advice. The OP isn't so sure what to do next and TiredBride was just giving her some no nonsense advice.
MrsTiredbride Posts: 3397
[quote="Mistified":158vivuk]^Well, while I see your point Julia, Tiredbride did tell the OP that she needs to break up with him rather than live a lie, so that was good advice. The OP isn't so sure what to do next and TiredBride was just giving her some no nonsense advice.[/quote:158vivuk] Exactly! I've been sitting here for 10 minutes trying to find a "nice" way to word what I wanted to say. Although I don't know if I meant to just break up outright, right to put it together in a better way: If you feel unfulfilled then you have to have deal with it, otherwise you'll go insane. How the OP wants to deal with what is a very very messy situation is up to her, it could mean actually resolving herself to the situation she is in and thinking yes I've a good guy here and staying with him, leaving behind the doubts OR she can decide to leave. But the point is that only she can deal with it, none of the rest of us can.
Lucille-Bluth Posts: 1145
HYDRATE, when you say you 'need' your other half how do you mean? Is it 'need' in a way that you couldnt be without him and then the physical attraction aspect is [i:zfeuoc2f]maybe[/i:zfeuoc2f] something that could be worked on (though I dont really know how you make yourself fancy someone you really dont)? Or is it 'need' as in he does things that you could very well learn to do for yourself were you to break up? Julia, This: [quote="tiredbride":zfeuoc2f]You've gotten yourself into a pretty big mess here! It's only you that can get yourself out of it. If you are always going to feel unfulfilled by this guy then you need to break up with him rather than keep on living a lie. Yes you should feel on top of the world nad not having these doubts but you don't so deal with it.[/quote:zfeuoc2f] is [i:zfeuoc2f]far[/i:zfeuoc2f] better advice than this: [quote="nooneknows":zfeuoc2f]couldn't read and not reply..... i can 't tell you what to do. Only you know how you really feel. I just want to wish you well and hope that it all works out for you. :thnk[/quote:zfeuoc2f]
bigassbride Posts: 83
h hun, I couldnt read your post and not reply either. I have heard before that after your big wedding there is a crash - like you were building up to this one day for so long and then when its all over it hits you. theres nothing to do, no planning, no phonecalls, no excitment, seems like theres nothing to look forward to. maybe its a bit of post wedding depression?? do you think maybe if the 2 of ye got to go away for a nice weekend together it could help? now if the thought of that turns your stomach then deffo get out, but if it doesnt....head away,,,for a break,,,,maybe its what ye both need. Maybe ye could make a night a week to do something together? Im not sure hun but I think after 4 months together your marraige deserves a chance. Think about it this way for a second. there are lots of girls out there with a bastard of a man to go home to. Can you imagine giving him a chance? can you see him holding your hand when you need him? my heart really does go out to you,,,if you need me im here, i know you dont know me but that might help,,,and im not a professional,,,just a shoulder to cry on. take care of yourself xxx