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d\'wifey Posts: 166
hi all..just need a bit of advice! my sister is driving me mental at the moment,,we are having a smallish wedding just family and close friends and she knows this but she keeps inviting people to our wedding O:| its driving me crazy she's already shamed me completely into inviting her best friend..who i get on fine with but i dont really know the girl that well! then d other nite another friend of ours was in our house and she commented on how she'l have to get a new dress for my wedding..i gave her daggers because i had noo intention of inviting this girl let alone her partner! This girl then turned around and asked said "oh yea i cant wait..which hotel is it in again" O:| O:| O:| wat do you say to this??? I dont want to invite this girl and now i dont know how il get out of it!! Any advice how to deal with this? i had a blazing how with my sister over this but she really doesnt see the big deal..its really starting to get to me!
gerbil Posts: 3528
Just don;t send her an invitation. I know people can make you feel like you "have to" but remember you actually do not have to do anything, noone can make you invite them. If you have small numbers, family and close friends only, then tell them that. When someone brings up the wedding and assumes they are invited, just say "Well, we are having a very small wedding party. But we'll meet everyone else for a pint when we're back from honeymoon" - tbh as long as you're polite and friendly about it, most people don't take offence.
d\'wifey Posts: 166
thanks gerbil...i suppose i could just do that its driving me crazy cos she asked me was i asking this girl and i said i dont think so cos the numbers are tight and we are leaving some of parents friends etc off it and if i start inviting people such as her id be starting to insult everyone! I know well my mam will be peeved that iv left some of her old friends off and invited sis's friend and i really dont wanna ruffle any feathers! its just soo annoying cos she's continually doing it..with loads of people! the whole point of the sml weddin is to keep it intimate..wont be intimate with all her mates sitting around getting pissed! i was at my wits end with her lst nite..thanks for d reply!
shobie Posts: 1437
Agree with the above, don't send an invite and sit down with your sister and explain that she can't be inviting people to your wedding. How old is your sister? She sounds quite young from your post, and needing all her friends around her for your wedding day. Just say it's a small wedding, numbers are limited so it's mainly family and close friends. I can't get over the amount of people who expect invites by association. Good Luck!
d\'wifey Posts: 166
Thanks..would u believe she's 28!!! its unreal its like she couldnt possibly come to the wedding without all her mates yet she'l know everyone at wedding cos its mostly family i cant under stand her. I told her lst nite that if someone is invited they'l get it in the post and she doesnt need to be telling people..these are just the people i know of that she's told god knows how many people she's said it to when im not around. i feel really embarassed now by not inviting this girl. i should let my sister explain it to her really! thanks for the replies girls... :thnk i was really stressed bout this over lst few days..my first big worry with the wedding!
gerbil Posts: 3528
don't worry bridetobee, honestly once you get firm with people, it all gets so much easier, it only feels weird at first O-O O-O I agree with you, we want to know or at least be intimately conencted to everyone at our wedding. it's a special day, you're right to choose with whom you spend it!
d\'wifey Posts: 166
Thanks gerbil i thought maybe i was being a bit mean! i wanna look around room and see all OUR friends and family not every tom dick an harry there! Im just gonna have to go a bit bridezilla on her ass :o0 i just hate argueing with anyone it drives me mad i like everybody to get along..i suppose ive loads of these little problems in front of me yet! thanks..
sweetypie Posts: 7
There are alot of people out there who do not realise the expense that is incurred with a wedding. My H2B's uncle called over after we got engaged and basically told me who had to be invited on side of the family. My ears were burning. I just smiled and politely said that we hadn't finalised numbers but that it was unlikely that all family including first cousins would be invited. I told him that I had a big family myself and told him that weddings can cost between €60.00 to €100.00 per head before drink. He couldn't believe how much it cost. He didn't realise. I just don't understand how family members expect certain people to be invited. As for your sister, if the shoe was on the other foot I'm sure your friends wouldn't be on the list. I would sit her down tell her she was wrong to do what she did and that you don't need extra stress like this. If feasible, tell her that she can invite whoever she wants to the afters ( or if necessary give her a max of five). i myself have told my younger brother he can bring his gang of friends to the afters no problem. Best of Luck!
d\'wifey Posts: 166
Thanks girls..ye're so good! I really dont think she realises the cost at all yet she's the very one to give out about wat im payin for invites, for flowers for honeymoon etc..saying how expensive these things are :eek i mean you couldnt keep up to her! I would let her invite any amount to afters we're having a big afters anyway...i just felt a bit bullied by her lately and it was really getting me dwn. thanks a mill girls ye've made me feel tons better :wv
lin007 Posts: 297
Hey bridetobe, ye the girls are right just tell your sis not to be presuming your inviting anyone its your wedding. I had this all the time before mine between my H2B being to nice to say no to anyone his Mother and his Sisters half the country were asked i just said no to alot and anyone that had said it to use I sent them evening invites. Don't be stressing your self out most people inderstand anyway its expensive to get married now and no mather how much you all might want to ask loads its just not possible