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stickwoman Posts: 2394
[quote="BringItOn":1x6qshwi]I got back with my ex and we're getting married. We couldn't be happier![/quote:1x6qshwi] I broke up with my now h2b twice in the 10 years we've known each other. First time was because he panicked and had issues he needed to work on. Second time it was getting too serious and I panicked and thought we were too young as I knew he was ready to get married (I was 22/he was 24) and I had my own stuff to work on. But we both worked on our issues and both worked at the relationship and now we're both in the right place. Hope that makes sense....
MrsWhittle2be Posts: 113
Yes OP - I had success getting back with an ex, we are now getting married. However, our break up was mutual and when we were apart we both realised how much we missed, loved and appreciated eachother more, when we decided to give it another go 10 weeks after breaking up. We both had minor issue's to deal with, that did change, but we both wanted this. In one of your posts you say that he won't change and you will have to compromise if ye get back together and also you are feeling it at parties by 'not being part of a couple'.......my one piece of advice here is, do not settle just because you feel it is your only option. Get back with him because you want to and can honestly say you will be happy in the relationship. If not, better to walk away now a stronger person.
Finicky Fi Posts: 2134
Thanks for all the replies. Great story Shootingstar :lvs
FeelingAnxious Posts: 12
hi mafrios81, your not a hyprocrite, its easy to be on the outside looking in and giving advice but at the end of the day only you know how you truly feel about someone, hope the meeting went well :action31
siobhanbolt Posts: 28
This is a hard situation... some tell me if it didn't work once, it won't work again. But, I feel sometimes the distance really gives you some perspective and clarity... and as the old saying goes, distances makes the heart grow fonder. You'll never know until you try!
Jawl Posts: 8881
[quote:v314g2n4]He hasn't/won't change - it's just who he is and if I choose to get back together with him then I'll have to accept him as he is and put up with some things that I know will bother me. I've been quiet fed up of being single since xmas. I'm the only one of my friends who isn't part of a couple and was the odd one out all over the festive period and at every night out since. [/quote:v314g2n4] Sounds like nothing has changed, and if it bothered you before it will bother you again. I also think that the worst reason in the world to get back with somebody is because you are fed up being single. You are settling for him, to have him rather than nobody. Recipe for disaster. You have come this far, be strong! You are worth a lot more, have a bit more respect for yourself, you will find happinness, it just doesn't sound like it will be with your ex.
Finicky Fi Posts: 2134
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Lennyx Posts: 242
Hey mafiros81 just reading your thread. So sorry to hear that things didn't work out. Don't beat yourself up about it, if you hadn't of met up with him you would have always wondered what would have happened and thats worse. Just remember you will find Mr. Right, just don't rush it he'll pull up on his horse one of these days when you're just not looking :action32 Its the hardest thing in the world to break free from a relationship like this,. I had the same thing with a guy we'd break up because everything came before me (especially the pub). After couple wks apart he'd swear he couldn't live without me and that he'd change. So we'd try again, his changing lasted a couple of wks/months then it was back to the same thing. After 7 years of this I finally got the courage to admit defeat & know I'd never change him. 3 years later I'm with the most amazing guy who always puts me first. And the ex has met someone & they have a child together but guess what? He still hasn't changed, my eart breaks for the poor girl who sits at home every evening with the baby while he has his few drinks in the local with his friends. Some guys just won't make that change for anyone!!!
FeelingAnxious Posts: 12
hi mafiros81, firstly big hugs for you :action31, dont be devastated pet or blame yourself. you only did what alot of people would have done, if you never went and tried with him you would always have being curious and would have had what if's? i totally agree with Lennyx, it is very hard to break free from a relationship like this. i hope your feeling a bit better and are ready to let go xx
Jawl Posts: 8881
[quote="FeelingAnxious":1480ydm8]hi mafiros81, firstly big hugs for you :action31, dont be devastated pet or blame yourself. you only did what alot of people would have done, if you never went and tried with him you would always have being curious and would have had what if's? i totally agree with Lennyx, it is very hard to break free from a relationship like this. i hope your feeling a bit better and are ready to let go xx[/quote:1480ydm8] I agree with FeelingAnxious, at least now you have got the 'what ifs?' out of the way, nothing has changed. Stay strong and be kind to yourself.