Home at 7.45am

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

D Momma Posts: 1101
Mrs.July0408 Posts: 1842
[color=purple:338qnv59]Hi Mrs T, not really sure what to say or advise but I didn't want to read & not reply! I can understand why you're angry. Hubby did this to me before (staying out & not contacting me) years ago & I remember how angry I was but I have never hit him. Plus it was years ago, before we had any major commitments & I guess looking back it was down to age & immaturity (we are together 10 years) Anyway, my point is, that your hubby shouldn't be behaving like this towards you, but you shouldn't react the way you did either - regardless of how angry you were - two wrongs really don't make a right. Personally, I think there's something deeper going on than just this one incident & you need to sort this out before it goes to far. He was in the wrong to throw things in your face about your father - that's a very low blow. There seems to be anger on both sides - could this be due to your miscarriage? Maybe you are both trying to deal with it in your own way. I don't know either of you, so it's hard to make a proper judgement. What I have just written probably doesn't even make sense, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that you really need to sit down - calmly - & talk about what it is that is making you both so angry with each other. Staying away from him, won't really help the situation, just make you both angrier. He needs to apologise for his behaviour, but you also need to apologise for slapping him. I really hope you get this sorted hon & I'm very sorry to hear about your mc. If you are preganant now, you need to be taking it easy & not stressing yourself out, more reason to sit down & sort it out with each other. Good luck! :action32 [/color:338qnv59]
FoxyLockz Posts: 2448
Oh dear.... I couldn't read and not reply to your post. Firsty does he always act like this? I'm really sorry to hear you suffered a mc i can only imagine what you are gong through and for your hubby to be acting like this, well its bang out of order. Perhaps it's a good idea for you to get away for a bit, clear your mind. You've been through hell without hubby acting like he's single again. Have you both sat down and spoke about how the mc has effected your relationship? perhaps him acting like this is his way of dealing with it. I know this isn;t advise but i strongly agree with you wanting to get away for a while, might do you both some good. Hope this is all sorted for you soon :thnk
newmammy2011 Posts: 1255
I am truly sorry to hear of all you are going through at the moment. I think the best thing you can do at the moment and naturely it is easier said than done is try and calm youself done and be relaxed as best you can be for your own sake. I really can appreciate your rage but if your H2B is still drunk at the moment (and I know I would be so enraged myself) he wouldnt listen to you, you will annoy yourself even more nearly to the point of destruction. Try as best you can to get through your work and as you suggested yourself stay away tonight and speak to him in the morning when you both are a lot calmer. With having your recent miscariage that in itself leaves you in a very vunerable position and your husband too. Men especially vent their hurt and anger in these situations sometimes in the stranges of ways that we as women can not relate to ( I am not in any uncertain terms suggesting that you dont know your husband) nor am i suggesting that his behaviour is right (it is appalling!) especially whenyou need him. Best of luck *) .
D Momma Posts: 1101
newmammy2011 Posts: 1255
Your response gives a different picture IYKWIM, and you are clearly clearly hurting my hreart goes out to you and your husband both. I may be completely out of the mark but at the moment you are in different paths of grief and not connecting with each other. Whilst I still dont agree with your husbands behaviour I think to some extent this is his vent yet you are left to preserve your body and keep it in tip top health to try and conceive a baby(which I sincerely hope you do). Your loss at the moment comes across so so raw. I really think you need a night away from your husband to then discuss things again tomorrow. Right now you are to fire up and that is not good for you or him(as he is drunk). In a more focused mind you will be able to seriously talk to him. PM me if you want to. Best wishes. *) .
Mrs.July0408 Posts: 1842
[color=purple:3bgafzf1]I agree - your last response changes things. He's doing it constantly to you & seems to be showing you zero respect - you or your unborn child. Regardless as to whether he is grieving or not, his behaviour is completely unacceptable & he's acting like a child. You know him better than anyone & if moving out for a while will give him the shake up he needs well, maybe it would be a good idea. Again, good luck & I really hope it works out - for the three of you. :lvs [/color:3bgafzf1]