Tell me I'm not on my own in this - Page 3

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Boulevard Posts: 995
Thanks girls, I just want to go home and put my arms around him and tell him that I love him. I hope he will be ok with me this evening. I might do what ye suggested and go for a walk or something. I still feel a bit teary eyed though, everytime I start thinking about the things we said it sets me off again.
arib Posts: 499
Boulevard I don't know the whole story but just from what you've posted it sounds like you've been moody with him and that you are having to apologise to him etc etc. [quote:e9fv1obb]I said some silly things that I did not mean, and H2B said after don't go back on what you've said why did you say it if you didnt mean it? [/quote:e9fv1obb] He obviously doesn't think you are controlling yourself very well and that you should be able to not say those things at all. [quote:e9fv1obb]He said that I use my period as an excuse for my moods, and that everyone gets down somethimes. [/quote:e9fv1obb] Do you use them as an excuse? [quote:e9fv1obb]I said I was sorry for being stupid and bratty, and he said u are always apologising and I hate that I make u do that, [/quote:e9fv1obb] Is that true? that you are behaving bad and always having to apologise? [quote:e9fv1obb] he said he doesnt want to be telling me what to do or to change the way I am. He wants me to be me. But when I am me, he gets mad at the way I am. [/quote:e9fv1obb] Which is how? Do you mean being moody? Just sounds to me like this is different than arguing - it is Boulevard being very moody and her fella not being able to stick it. Might be something she has to deal with herself and make an effort to go a bit easier on him!
Hepburn Posts: 4081
In a word....yes! If I had a penny for everytime we both said we wished it was all over already, or even worse, we wished we weren't doing it at all! Hang in are on the home straight. The funny thing is, like having a baby, you forget the pain so quickly! The morning after the wedding we were lying there gazing at each other all loved up saying we wished we could do it all again... :o0
Milly83 Posts: 3620
B I know what you mean. Myself and H2B have been fairly stressed over other things that aren't directly related to the wedding but we are concerned over the money aspect. It has seemed to die down in last couple of months thankfully. It's completely normal for people to get stressed out when you are close to your wedding. Don't worry hon, things will get better. Just imagine your day and how great it will be to get married.
willful Posts: 6822
[quote="Boulevard":1gixtggi]Thanks girls,[b:1gixtggi] I just want to go home and put my arms around him and tell him that I love him.[/b:1gixtggi] I hope he will be ok with me this evening. I might do what ye suggested and go for a walk or something. I still feel a bit teary eyed though, everytime I start thinking about the things we said it sets me off again.[/quote:1gixtggi] But see that in itself tells me that everything's fine! At the end of the day, even after all the arguing, you know that you really love hima nd that that's the most important thing. He's probably thinking the exact same thing! Buy a bottle of wine on the way home from work, cuddle up on the couch together and tell him that!
dreamer Posts: 3941
[quote="Boulevard":3i4pzhdc]Did anyone ever have really bad times together in the run up to the wedding? Like, bad arguments over nothing, just being in bad form and under pressure. Did you ever say things like you weren't sure if you wanted a wedding after all? Silly things.. I feel like its all going wrong :o([/quote:3i4pzhdc] OMG - last night I felt like telling him I didn't want to go through with it, over a silly fight!!! You are not alone girl!!
oh dear Posts: 72
Why oh why do we do it? We get engaged and can't wait to get started on the prepatations for the big day. So why do WE ruin it for ourselves???? When you think about it does it really matter if the bows on the church pew match exactly with the colour of the bridesmaid underwear? I got married 10 years ago and threw myself so much into the preparations I completely failed to notice the man I was marrying was not right for me at all. 10 years, a few kids and a divorce later I am now marrying the most wonderful man in the world (I know we all think this). This time our wedding day is going to be about us and our kids and not about realatives we haven't seen for ages or friends we've lost contact with but still feel we have to invite. I still want a day out though and a party but its more about celebrating with the people that matter to us and the few we HAVE to invite..... My advice for what its worth is to really think about what you're stressing over and ask yourself, does it matter? Think about afterwards when things get back to normal everyday life, will it matter then? I know it seems important now, honestly I do but believe me its not. Of course we're all going to worry about certain things, the band, the hotel etc etc we're only human. All I'm saying is that not everything has to be perfect. Once the stress and tension goes the moods go too and you can get back to being the couple you were..........
NowGone Posts: 8042
[quote="Boulevard":35xzhs8p] I still feel a bit teary eyed though, everytime I start thinking about the things we said it sets me off again.[/quote:35xzhs8p] Ok, the last bit of advice I'll give is try not to cry. Men just don't get tears a lot of the time, and it'll make him feel worse. Take a step back, acknowledge that he's probably feeling very frustrated, and try and suck it up for a few days. I know you're feeling miserable, but more tears at this point simply won't help the situation. Tears can make men feel useless and frustrated. Some men see it as an attempt to emotionall blackmail (not all men, etc usual disclaimer) and it might add fuel to the fire. Seriously, go home, put a a big smile on, open a a bottle of wine and DO NOT DISCUSS WEDDINGS................ ................At least till tomorrow. :o0
marianf Posts: 5845
Hi Boulevard, Sorry to hear that you are so upset. Like the others said you need to both take a step back from the wedding and concentrate on yourselves. You have been very frustrated with your family recently and this is bound to take its toll. I am sure it breaks your h2b's heart to see you upset by them. Everyone gets stressed before the wedding and your family are adding to it, so its no wonder he thinks that everything is going wrong. Maybe you should try and delegate as much of the wedding jobs as you can to your BM's etc so that your house is a wedding free zone for the next week or so which will hopefully allow you time to concentrate on your relationship and what is important and not the 'wedding' which after all is only a day in your life. I really hope it all works out for you. :thnk
MONTY38 Posts: 14
Hi b You are most definately not alone on this one.we have 4 months and a bit to go and the two of us are freaking out as well!!he says hes nervous about the day cause its such a massive deal and he's sooo right!!im freaking out about every aspect of the wedding,the money it costs,the pressure to look fantastic etc when in my mind whats most important is not the fecking dress or the flowers or even in fact if noone turns up its that im making a massive commitment to my best friend that we are going to be together forever and be eachothers family!!we had a chat at the weekend and figured all these things out and we both feel alot better today!!nervous but still happy!! :wv As long as the love ye both have for eachother to get engaged in the first place is still there ye will survive it darlin. xxx :wv :wv :wv O-O